Why They Divorced Their Wives!

The United States holds the record for the great number of divorces that take place there... This operation of "divorce" is among the simplest that can befall an American, and he resorts to it for silly, sometimes even unreasonable, causes... It has been told, for example, that a man divorced his wife because the cat his wife had brought sneezed in his face!... We recount below the latest divorces in which the whole world has taken an interest — with the exception of America itself, since divorce there is a very simple matter, as we have said.

A woman from "New Jersey" asked to be divorced because her husband beat her whenever she made a mistake in spelling... He is, it appears, one of the disciples of Sibawayh.

A woman from "Nebraska" stated that the reason that drove her to divorce was that her husband refused to go out every evening... She is seventy years old, and he eighty-two!

A mother of five children complained, seeking divorce, because her husband drove one of his children's carriages with a single hand... What is to be done? Nothing easier than divorce!

A husband from San Francisco won his suit with ease: his wife slept with 27 cats!

A husband from "Harsdale" sent his wife the following letter: "I got married last week. I hope you will find no objection to that." Does this call for anything but divorce?

A husband in "Minneapolis" was granted a divorce because his wife took for herself the greater part of the blanket! Another man, from "Detroit," held it against his wife that she summoned spirits and ghosts. He had no complaint against her at first, but when his mother-in-law came to live between them, he considered that the bounds of reason had been passed — and the judge was of his opinion!

Judge "Granot" of "Spokane" decreed a divorce for a young woman who held it against her husband that he cut off the head of the Christmas rooster with an axe!

As for "W. F. Russell," who is 85 years old and from Chicago, he never raised any objection when his wife contented herself with chasing after him, threatening him with a big kitchen knife and pelting him with glass vessels... But when his wife's friend chased after him, pulled the teeth from his mouth, and kicked him with both feet — then he decided, regretfully, to divorce his wife!

Monsieur Christophe Dembal divorced his wife because she pricked him with a needle while caressing him...

In the state of "Iowa" one elderly husband was asked why he had divorced his wife, and out of bashfulness he made no reply... When the questioner pressed him for an answer he said, blushing: When she kissed me, she came near to strangling me from the force of the pressure!

But the shortest marriage that ever took place was that of "Mary Martin" of "Oklahoma": the civil official who performed the marriage wrote out the request for annulment after only five minutes — because Mary Martin, at the wedding party, was asked for on the telephone by a soldier!...

From al-Sayyad