Truly, My Memory Is Weak

“Truly, my memory is weak”... a new psychological study, rendered into Arabic, with some adaptation, from the magazine “Your Life,” by the editorial secretary of “The Woman's Voice.”

...“That face is no stranger to me!”
“I remember quite well being introduced to this person, but his name escapes me just now... Truly, my memory is weak!”

These are phrases that come again and again to our lips, or to people’s lips within our hearing; so we come to suppose that the children of this age — for reasons we sometimes grasp and sometimes do not — no longer trust themselves to command their memory in most ordinary matters. They admit frankly that they are “weak of memory,” and they call in the aid of a little memory which they carry with them wherever they go, to stand in for their own, recording on its pages certain matters they care to remember...

Science assures us that this claim, despite the seemingly logical proofs that commend it to people’s minds, is nothing more than an illusion; and that there is no such thing as what they call the strong memory and the weak memory, except in the proportion that intelligent people bear to people of little intelligence. We fail to remember people’s names because, at the moment of our introduction to them, we did not direct our whole attention to “their names.” This does not mean that we take no interest in them; it means that our minds, at the moment of introduction, were occupied with something else, which to them was more important than the name. Some people are taken by outward appearances; some attend to the drift of the conversation, or the tone of the voice. And so each remembers whatever pleases him and neglects to remember the remaining things — yet he will have remembered other things concerning this person to whom he was introduced...

And the person who remembers names simply directs his whole attention to them; he may take no pleasure in studying the meanings of a face, or the ring of a voice, or the drift of a talk — he gives them not a single glance, and for that reason everything of theirs that passed before his hearing or his sight evaporates quickly from his memory...

A mother boasts of the memory of her little girl, who remembered a garden she had visited only once, two years before, when she had not yet passed four years of age... Yet upon quizzing this child, it turned out that she remembered nothing but a cup of delicious ice cream she had enjoyed in that garden: her mind had filled with the memory of what had tasted good to her, and she longed to have it again...

We read books, and we see moving pictures from time to time. Sometimes we no sooner leave the cinema, or finish reading a book, than the pictures and scenes have vanished from our memory forever; and sometimes we remember minute, detailed scenes even after a number of years have passed. The analysis of this is that we remember the scenes that affect us, and that concern us to some degree, and ignore the scenes to which no inward tie joins us — such as those that give us no pleasure.

This shows us that people, whatever their classes and their ages, incline to remember what concerns them or what pleases them; and in the light of this truth, every person can treat his weak memory by constant exercise, so as to wipe out every trace of the spiders of forgetfulness that nest in his head, and so secure for himself a strong memory — the utmost he could aspire to.

And once a sincere desire takes hold of us to remember people’s names, we have only to direct all our attention to that end, at the moment of introduction, and to drive from our heads every second, parasitic thought that might shut the doors of memory against us...

A few days ago there appeared in the local papers a piece of world news, to the effect that a large number of women’s organizations had raised a protest against Dorothy Kenyon, America’s member on the commission for women’s affairs, on their claim that Judge Kenyon does not work sincerely for the demand of equality between man and woman, and that for this reason she does not deserve this membership.

This item will be remembered by every lady who knew Judge Kenyon, or heard her speak during

the women’s congresses lately convened in Beirut. And some people may read it word for word, and nothing of it will stick in their memory... not because their memory is weaker than the ladies’, but because no prior tie binds them to this piece of news.

And another item, on the death of the mother of Dr. Bayard Dodge, the former president of the American University of Beirut, will be remembered by everyone who studied at that university and knew President Dodge in person; and many people who never passed through the circumstances of the first group will be unable to remember it — not because their memory is weaker than theirs, but because their past experiences have no tie binding them to this event, and so it is erased from their memory the moment they finish reading the item. The case of such people is like a man who throws his hat at the wall: if it finds a peg, it catches on it and stays there; if not, it drops straight back to the floor.

Our memory comes to our aid when we find, in our previous experiences, a tie binding us to the new event. The existence of this tie is necessary; and when it is lacking, memory betrays us, and nothing of the new event comes back to us!

Hence it is imperative for us, whenever we wish to remember something, to tie its events to earlier, familiar events; and then remembering becomes an easy matter...

...And there is a third matter that must be observed by everyone who cares to strengthen his memory, lest it betray him when he needs it most, and his brow grow damp with shame! This matter is the repetition of what we wish to remember, at least once; for this repetition helps greatly against forgetting.

This is my talk, and I offer it to those who count a strong memory among the necessities of success in this life — may they take it in earnest and set about applying it... It comes down to three points:

First, the collecting of thought, or attention. Second, the tying of new events to old ones. And third, repeating them at least once. When a person practices these three things with his whole will, they will help him greatly to strengthen his memory, and will make of him a new person, one who disdains to keep declaring in a low voice: “It is my weak memory — it always betrays me!...”