Some Problems of Childhood

* The whiter the garment, the plainer shows the stain.
* Woe to the china if it falls upon the rock, and woe to it if the rock falls upon it.

Layla was born in a house of learning... to young, cultivated parents who never for a day held back from giving everything precious for the development of their little girl, in keeping with the latest methods of upbringing. Yet, like most of the young people of this age, their activity was scattered: they spent most of their time outside the house, leaving Layla in the charge of a young maidservant who accompanied her to the kindergarten, to dancing lessons, and to the children's club.

And in the evening, when the mother had put her little girl in her bed and satisfied herself that she was there in good health, she would go with her husband to some club or gathering.... And when silence settled over the house, Layla would slip out of her cold bed, steal on tiptoe to where her young maid was, call her to her side, and fall gently asleep to the echo of her artless songs and her magical tales... For this maid was the dearest of all people to the heart of the five-year-old child; in her she found the tenderness and love she sought in vain from her parents...

... And on an autumn day, the maid's people sent for her, and she left behind her a child withdrawn into herself, as though she had lost the most precious thing in her life...

Strange changes came over Layla's nature: she went back to sucking her thumb, to talking in the unintelligible speech of infants, and to refusing her food...

Her parents were at a loss about her, and the psychologist decided that Layla was in need of tenderness, like that she used to receive from her young maid.

*

This true story, if it proves anything, proves that there are many parents who live in their homes in an atmosphere foreign to the atmosphere of their children, showering them with every need of the body while withholding from them love, the soul's only nourishment!

The fact is that most of our mothers prefer listening to the radio, or reading an entertaining novel, or watching a cinema film, to going deeper into the modern arts of child-rearing; and from this it follows that such a mother, when she faces some particular problem of childhood in her home, stands bewildered and feels her ignorance and her failure to solve this problem.

Nor do I think that the struggle between the modern and the old methods of upbringing is yet over. One mother commented on this,

saying:
'My daughter is a poor eater, and I have faced this problem by following the newest educational methods: when she refuses to eat I say to her, "Never mind, my dear, do as you please..." Yet to this hour I am not sure that this method is any better than my mother's, for she used to say to me with firmness and steadiness:
"Clean your plate; so table manners require..." And we ate well in those days — better than our children eat today.

I do not want it to spring to mind that I am simply demolishing the educational theories; but I ask: are these theories always capable of application? And are they to be applied to every child alike?

One of the modern theories of upbringing is that the child should do as he pleases, and that no restraint should check him so long as there is no harm to the community in what he does. To what extent, then, does this theory suit our upbringing and our surroundings? And what is your opinion of a child who never stops turning the furniture of the house upside down until fatigue wears him out?

How many a mother hastens to send her child to the nursery before he has completed his fourth year, thinking that his surroundings there and the teacher's care of him are better than her own care! The truth is otherwise, for the tenderness and understanding a mother gives her child nothing in the world can equal.

It is to be observed that the further a nation advances up the steps of civilization, the wider grows the gulf of understanding between families, and the more it is marked by that individual independence which, despite its benefits, has its many evils. It is true that the specialists study a great deal about the natures of children and know how to handle them; but every child has his own particular nature, and you, madam, are able to come to know your child's nature and take it in hand like any specialist in the world. And do not suppose that the greatest work you could perform equals, in its essence, your personal care of your child... Remember this always...