Marriage has become a complicated craft, demanding surpassing skill to master. And since marriage is a partnership, it falls to both parties to carry out essential obligations, for which full competence must be attained if they are to be performed to perfection. This competence varies in kind, in strength, and in appearance: some of it must exist as qualities inherent in the woman; some the man must possess in any case; and some is acquired through experience and companionship.
We have had the opportunity to learn the views of a seasoned man, in which he gathered the rules necessary for building a happy married life. We present them to our gracious readers as a model for study and reflection.
1 – Take an interest in everything that concerns the house: for the house is the one property held in common, over which married family life hovers. It is what represents the marital union and its purpose. The man who takes an interest in the affairs of the house—improving it, furnishing it, and making it attractive and healthful in every respect—secures for himself a conjugal intimacy not available to the husband who takes no part in these matters, reckoning them the wife's duties.
2 – Be ready to help with the housework: There are unforeseen circumstances that compel a woman to neglect some household duties: among them weariness of going on in one unvarying routine, or she may be seized by a slight illness, or her child may fall prey to sickness. Consider the woman's feelings in these circumstances, singly or combined. If the husband comes demanding perfection, he throws his wife into an anxiety that cuts the sinews of her faith in marriage; she staggers under the burden, and may come to renounce it.
3 – Give your wife her own spending money: Every woman should have a sum of money at her disposal, however small, free of any accounting. Were not her parents generous with her? Then why should the husband be stingy?
4 – Look closely at what your wife wears: If your wife appears before you in a new dress and it has pleased you, beware of passing it by unheeded. Say to her, for instance: "How happy I have always been to know that you fix your choice on a dress knowing beforehand that it will take hold of me altogether."
5 – Be open-handed in giving presents: It is very well to learn your wife's fancy for certain things, however
trifling they may seem in your eyes, and to surprise her with them, as though you were courting her affection all over again.
6 – If women are mentioned... beware: In conversation between husband and wife, mention may arise of certain women: a friend's fiancée, or a director's wife, or an emir's sister. This is an extremely delicate situation... so beware of it...
7 – Do not forget to declare your love to her: Beware of coldness, for it destroys faith in the value of the marriage bond. Consider your wife's sacrifices and her endurance of hardships to give you comfort; declare your love to her always, put your honest heart upon your tongue, and proclaim her virtues and her importance to your life—lest you lose many privileges in her heart. A woman's affections do not admit of "dropping all ceremony."
1 – Your husband's desk: keep your attentions away from it unless he asks: Even if your husband seems to work in disorder, the likelihood is that he knows where his things are. It is better not to earn his vexation by turning it upside down and shifting its contents about while you claim to be making his affairs easier—he understands that as muddle and confusion inflicted upon him.
2 – Learn his taste in food: If you are not good at cooking, then roll up your sleeves at once and learn this great art, and you will see that cookery is the only art that is