Your fiancée's mother must be, after the marriage and after the parting from her, the best friend of your new home and the grandmother of your children. It is most necessary to know this and to prepare what is needed for the future.
Two principal counsels:
1 — No special habits:
Do not think you can skirt certain matters and find a middle solution—such as going, for example, to take breakfast every day at your mother-in-law's. That morning meal brings tragedy with it, and becomes the vexing dream of the week. The
break must be clear and final, like the weaning of a child.
2 — Do not surrender to conveniences:
The mother-in-law offers herself to smooth your path through life—by fitting out the flat, for instance, or the trousseau, or the kitchen. Do not accept. Choose the hard life, but the independent one.
Whatever happens, the young couple must remain united and form a single front. In the first year of marriage the girl listens with all her will to what her young husband wants; let that year, then, be at the same time the year of the final weaning as well.
If You Are the Daughter-in-Law:
Most of the advice addressed to the son-in-law suits the daughter-in-law too. She must first understand her mother-in-law's tragedy. The best mothers are often the worst mothers-in-law. That is natural and ordinary: the more attached a woman is to her child, the more she feels the difference when that child is torn from her. The true tragedy of the mother-in-law is that she suddenly finds herself "out of work." Her work until now was motherhood, and the aim of her life was her child. And suddenly there she is, without a trade and without an aim.
She tries to prolong her role, just
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