And suddenly it burst upon me that I was a dreadful girl!!

And I went back many times to spy upon the house from afar, in the grip of a violent attraction. In the hot hours I would see the windows shut, and the bees droning in the air, and the roses weighing down the branches, and I would picture that creature asleep in a soft bed, her hair spread out and her white neck rising through clouds of lace.

One day, in the afternoon, I saw her accompanying a man walking in the garden; they did not see me. It was the hour of scorching heat, when the streets empty of people. When they reached the outer gate he wrapped his arm around her waist and kissed her on her mouth. It was a swift scene that lasted only a moment, and I was thrown into confusion, for I had never before seen such a kiss except at the cinema. I moved away with long strides and vanished around the bend of the street like a fugitive.

After this I became restless, unable to gather my thoughts. And again and again Dona Mirtes recalled me to attention during the lessons, saying:

— Your mind is wandering. Look here.

And I no longer asked her at the end of the lessons to play me her beautiful pieces, and I saw her face again as it really was, with the vexing freckles on the cheeks and that sickly hollow about the eyes. My straying imagination deserted her and began to circle about another person, and to walk in the quiet little street and see the wall with the roses hanging over it.

And my poor teacher felt that someone was stealing something from her, and she became shrunken and sad, her heart overflowing with those stirring expressions for which the spinsters of the countryside are famous. I stood, and it seemed to me that

she hesitated; perhaps she saw the longing in my eyes, for she walked as far as the outer gate and opened it and said simply:

— Come, come in.

We passed through the little garden; I walked on the pebbles of the path as though I were treading upon clouds. We entered the house, and the fierce glare of the sun outside made the interior seem dark. After a moment the ornaments showed themselves to me: colored china vases full of flowers, and cushions scattered here and there over the chairs and on the divan; and I saw an oil painting of a blue-eyed little girl with thick chestnut hair falling in twisted ringlets, ring upon ring.

And I felt a great shyness. The mistress of the house seated me beside her on the settee, and her perfume enveloped me, and her bosom showed dazzling white in the wide opening of her gown. Then she lit a cigarette and set it between her crimson lips, and held out to me a big box of chestnuts.

I gazed at her and thought myself in a dream. Was it possible that such a young woman lived in a country town like ours and no one felt her presence?

She said:

— Do you take lessons on the violin,

The moment the lesson is over I hurry out, and on the way I set myself to rights; and when I come near the house with the red tiles I walk with quick, elegant steps, and if I see the young woman in the garden I greet her and walk on, as though the road were the road to my own house.

... Are they fallen in body or in soul, these whom we call "daughters of pleasure"? Are they unworthy to kiss a baby and to clasp a child? How many a storm of feeling lies behind those walls which people suppose hide nothing but sin and profligacy?

And how many a woman writhes, aching and weeping, over a life gone desolate of children and of children's abiding!!...

One day I left the house before the appointed time, meaning to pass in front of her house before the lesson.

I found her sitting under the eaves of the house, near the railing; she caught sight of me and beckoned with her hand, an affectionate gesture with which the sleeve of her gown fell back to the elbow. She was wearing a gown of red velvet that wrapped her body close and showed the beauty of her high bosom, narrowing at her waist and then falling loose. I held my breath, so strongly did the sight of her move me, and she went on smiling at me, her head in the shadow.

She said:

— Are you coming back from your violin lesson? — No, madam, I am going to the lesson. How fierce this heat is!

And she was studying me with pleasure.

— Do you like chestnut sweets? — I do. — Then come in. — No, madam. That would be a trouble to you.

What trouble could it be? Do you love music?

And she left me no time to