An important subject in child-rearing, one that haunts our mothers and leaves them perplexed... treated at length in The Woman's Voice forum by three of our mothers, experienced and of broad culture, the ladies:

1 — Alice Alfred Nakkash 2 — Nazira Zain al-Din Halabi 3 — Emily Fares Ibrahim

Mrs. Nakkash: We feel in these days that authority is in a stubborn crisis. There are the parents, who want to impose their authority, and the children, who recoil from that authority and that dominance. Now authority is a duty upon the parents, and its exercise does not begin when the child grows up and reaches the age of seven; fathers and mothers must begin from earliest childhood. On the other hand, they should remember that a display of dominance is not authority; its meaning must be understood: it is to make the life of the grown-ups a part of the life of the little ones, with no vast gulf between the two. If children are not accustomed to submitting to authority, they will find it difficult later on. For example, if the child is not accustomed to respecting others, his respect for others will be lacking in the future. And authority does not mean violence on the part of the parents; it means proper supervision and careful study of their children's conduct at home and at school, with family and with friends, at work time and at play time, and with persons of their own class or with servants and others.

Mrs. Halabi: The father and the mother must be the upright model for the children, for the children take them as the aim, the goal, and the example that must be followed. And there must be cooperation between the teachers at school and the family at home, so that the desired end may be achieved: bringing up the child soundly.

Nakkash: There are children who behave rightly by nature, and others who are spoiled from infancy; and present-day life, by its very nature, is what delays the proper training of children — for life itself is complicated, a constant struggle — and if children do not make respect and good conduct a habit, it is impossible for them to grow up cooperative at home and outside it. Likewise, respect for the various authorities must be insisted upon: the spiritual, the governmental, the scholastic, and the rest.

Mrs. Emily: If we ask what the foundations of the family are, we would answer that they are many things; but the most important of these foundations, in my opinion, is affection — that sentiment bound up with and composed of tenderness, trust, and understanding among the members of one family. And this affection is hard to achieve and to carry out if the parents have not practiced it between themselves, and then between the two of them together and their children. Every act should rest on the basis of this affection, not on the basis of imposing an authority laid down for fathers over sons!

Nakkash: Very often we find children who do not obey their parents because these do not know how to command; and how many a child is pushed toward something important and rewarded, then punished for a trifling matter!

Emily: Very often children hide very important matters from their families, either out of fear or because the bond of affection between the two sides is missing; and the cause of this, in my view, is that fathers assert their presence only to display authority. Likewise it is a mistake to let children go their own way and do as they please.

Halabi: When understanding exists between the mother and the father, the children absorb it; fear disappears from the children, and they feel that the parents' presence is not for authority but for upbringing and care.

Nakkash: Authority never means tyranny and harshness.

Emily: If children are trained to order from infancy, it becomes something natural to them. The very course of life must contain order, so that the child grows familiar with it and it becomes part of his character and his nature. I have tried this myself with my children and tested it myself — especially as I am bringing up my children during my husband's absence, and in one of the most difficult stages of their lives: I mean, they are at the age of adolescence. My eldest son is eighteen years old and the other sixteen. I fix, in agreement with them, one time for the cinema and another for meeting their friends. And I must mention here that I play a large part in choosing their friends for them, because this choice is very important. This is because I feel that however much I try to create the feeling of affection and friendship between us, they are bound to tell their friends things they do not tell me in full; and for this reason I take pains over the selection of their friends.

Nakkash: We do not raise the child for ourselves alone but for life itself.

The elements that accompany our conduct toward our children from infancy play a great part in their lives when they grow up.

Emily: Yes. I come back to my experience in my children's lives: I have accustomed them to feel that