Emily: And when we decide on a punishment, we must hold to it and carry it out, and leave no room at all for sentiment. Punishment is necessary, but if it is not carried out its effect is lost.
Nakkash: Of course firmness is indispensable, for if we show softness once, it becomes easy for the child to object afterwards.
Halabi: To what degree do you two think the father's authority should stand in relation to the mother's authority?
Emily: The mother stays longer with her children, and a great responsibility falls on her; but even so she must cooperate with the father in the upbringing of the children. And one of the most dangerous things is for her to hold out the threat of the father and of his punishment: first, she weakens her own authority; and second, she creates hatred in the children's hearts toward their father.
Nakkash and Halabi: That is a flagrant error. Threatening with the father is of no use whatever.
Emily: The parents must watch their talk and their behavior before their children: neither should speak of the other in his absence except with good, and neither should criticize the other before the children; the children must be made to feel the existence of mutual trust. Likewise, lying must vanish altogether from the family. If the mother lies, her son picks it up from her, and so she accustoms him to lying — and, as it were, accustoms him also not to believe her afterwards.
Nakkash: Likewise the authority of the teachers must be upheld when the child complains to his mother of his teacher at school. Respect for teachers is necessary and their authority is important, and here there must be cooperation between the home and the school.
Halabi: In the family where respect and love are mutual, the upbringing of the children grows lighter and easier.
Emily: And the inclination of each child must be observed separately; for each child there is a particular means and a particular manner of persuasion, and one makes do with what it yields. There are some children who understand and do what is asked of them without argument, and there are others who will not heed a word until they are convinced of what is in it, and so they dispute and discuss what they want.
Halabi: What do children hate in their families? They feel that one is favored by the parents over the rest and set apart from the others; and this is unjust, for it breeds rancor in the hearts of the little ones — just as excess of authority, and differing treatment between one and another, also breeds rancor among them toward one another.
Emily: There is a small incident that happened to me with my father, which taught me to avoid the like with my children. My father was stern, of intense dominance, and I felt his presence only in the display of that dominance. When I married I felt freedom, and my husband, unlike my father, was broad of horizon. On New Year's Eve we decided to go to the Hotel Saint-Georges. I set about preparing my evening gown — and my father in earlier days had been very hard on me and very strait-laced. The feeling of being deprived of certain things had kept growing within me; and to make up for the deprivation I had suffered before, on the night of the party I deliberately passed before my father in my gown, open at the back! But afterwards I suffered greatly. Even so, I felt as though I had avenged myself for his former harshness toward me, and I always recall that incident as proof that that suppressed feeling found itself an outlet later on. And so I have taken care to avoid this with my children, so as not to foster in their hearts the feeling of deprivation and repression.
Nazira: I know a lady, now
advanced in years, who is still resentful of her parents because they used to drink tea when she was small and never invited her to share it with them. She suppressed that feeling within herself until it grew strong, and its effect grew with it and has not left her; it still roams in her mind. Even now, when she remembers this matter, she is much affected by it and asks herself: why did they set themselves apart from her??
Emily: Here we come back once more to the necessity of affection, frankness, and love between children and their parents.
Little Layla was asked:
— Do you love Fouad?
She said no, he is not charming.
He hits me.
— And Samir?...
— Oh yes, he is charming — I hit him!!
A man brought suit for divorce against his wife because a traveling peddler — during the time he was displaying his wares to the couple — wanted to play with their little son and asked to kiss him. The child refused, saying:
— No... kiss my mother instead, as you did yesterday!
• The American writer "Earl Wilson" was asked: What is your opinion of the modern woman?
He replied: "I think she is two women... one who prepares the home for the man, and another who prepares the man for the home!"