What Are Your Child's Psychological Needs?
Aminah al-Fa'our

The child in the home is the cornerstone of happiness — indeed he is the pivot around which family life, in its various aspects, turns. Generally speaking, we give the child his due in food, drink, and clothing; but do the child's needs stop at this point? Does he not also require of us, besides that, special attention to the psychological side of his life, and care for the formation of his personality and for his adjustment to the environment in which he lives and which lives with him?

The whole life of our children is bound up closely with their psychological guidance in the two stages of childhood and adolescence, and their impressions in those two stages have the greatest effect in forming their mentality and building their personality. Those guidances and impressions spring first and foremost from the environment that surrounds the child. And what is that environment if not the one the parents create in the home by their way of life and their conduct, public and private?

A sound family atmosphere is a great guarantee for forming the child's mentality and personality soundly and well; for his psychological being it is like pure air to healthy lungs. Parents who enjoy a tranquil married life, in which love weaves its threads and contentment hovers over its corners, bestow on their children a great blessing — the blessing of a good start on the paths of life; and there is no doubt that these children in their turn will be, in the future, happy and worthy citizens. If we wished to touch on some of the psychological needs of the child and the adolescent, the following points would stand out before us:

First — Every child needs an ample share of love exchanged with his parents

It is among the most sacred rights of the child that the truth of our love for him should not be hidden from him, by every possible means. A child in adolescence may not like his people to kiss or embrace him, but there is no doubt that a deep feeling of happiness steals into him when they pat him on the shoulder or walk with him hand in hand, expressing thereby their strong attachment to him. The few hours you spend with your child leave the finest impression on his soul; do not

begrudge them to him, for they are of benefit to each of you. There is also a wide field for confirming love and affirming it in a tangible way: surprising the child from time to time with some gifts that he wants or needs.

The gravest threat to the child's mental well-being, and what leads him to doubt his people's love, are the mistaken methods they may adopt in raising him — scolding, threats, constant punishment, and all such faults of guidance to which those who raise children rarely pay attention.

Alongside this we must point to the greatest mistake parents may commit, namely favoring one child

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