To My Daughter and Her Husband on Their Wedding Day

At this critical stage of our life, when all manner of storms and deadly social and moral afflictions batter our homes and our families, threatening them with collapse, we are pleased to come out to our women readers with this ideal letter, by a man of ideal character in word and deed, which he presented to his daughters on the night of their weddings — and it bore the best of fruit...

And I see no better way of guiding the daughters of my country, in this troubled stage of our social life, toward fruitful reform than the living example of living persons, still among us, who are of our own flesh and blood...

As for the ideal man, author of the letter printed below, he is Mr. Elias Murshaq, Syrian by origin, who emigrated to Egypt and opened an industrial factory, thanks to which he became a man of vast wealth. Yet this wealth did not rob him of his tenderness of heart: he was the first in Egypt to give his workers a share in the annual profits, and thereby he won their esteem, their affection, and their loyalty in work.

Nor did this wealth of his thrust him into the ranks of the arrogant who "toy with people's souls" in their odious insolence; and so he won the respect and admiration of the people — things which the rich of this age rarely obtain...

A great lady said:
"Of all the families I have known in East and West, I can affirm that the family of Elias Murshaq is the finest family I have ever known!"
The Editors

My Two Beloved Children,

I offer you my greetings and my prayer that your union may be happy and blessed all your life long, and that your life may be long, prosperous, and contented. And though I am certain of the firmness of your character, the loftiness of your upbringing, and the soundness of your minds, I wish to offer you some advice, guidance, and information which I have tested in my own happy married life — a life whose pillars were love, devotion, and mutual trust between me and your mother, my life's partner, who was my right arm in all circumstances. I hope you will read it; perhaps it will alert you to what will profit you, especially at the outset of your married life.

★ Let each of you love the other with a true and abundant love, founded on devotion, frankness, and trust; and let your mutual love be firm and strong, that it may bear the strain of building a family and face the storms of time, the turns of fortune, and the difficulties of life.

★ Be moderate in all your affairs — in work, in expenses, in visits and receptions, in dress and food, and in all your amusements and pleasures.

★ Proceed slowly and carefully in all things; let your spending be less than your income; do not imitate those who are richer than you; and beware of exposing yourselves to any falling back in your way of living, for that is among the hardest of things. Slow, steady progress, on the other hand, increases the pleasure of life and brings you to the summit of happiness and success.

★ Be gentle-natured and frank with one another, and take care never to criticize each other except in private, with kindness and tact, and in a positive way.

★ Small, innocent disagreements are inevitable between newlyweds, but they must be settled at once, gently, in a spirit of calm and peace, and without the intervention of others — not even the parents.

★ Be humble; guard each other's feelings and the feelings of others; and avoid wounding words and coarse expressions, for their traces remain even after apology has been made, and some of them go on bleeding for a lifetime.

★ Examine yourselves each evening and reflect on what you have said and done in the course of your day; this is the best way to correct whatever error of word or deed may have escaped you.

★ Avoid quarreling; whoever quarrels with you, forgive him, close your eyes to it, and keep your distance from him — for life is short, and there is no room in it for anger, rancor, and revenge.

★ Admitting a mistake is the shortest road to preserving one's personal dignity, winning people's respect, and settling a dispute.

★ Take care to be clean and pure in body, soul, and spirit; avoid ostentation; and follow simplicity as far as you can.

★ Make your home your paradise on earth, and live in it without fretfulness or boredom; for the home is the only place where a husband and wife who are in accord feel true and lasting happiness.

★ Work without wearying at growing together in habits, inclinations, taste, and thinking, and let each of you sacrifice for the other's sake; thus you will agree and harmonize, and become, in time, as one person.

★ Preserve your youth and fight old age by strengthening body, soul, and spirit. Laugh, and the world will laugh with you. Do not hasten tomorrow's coming before its time; rather enjoy the day you are in, for tomorrow will surely come with its privileges and its responsibilities.

★ Remember that a man's work in his sphere of business, and a woman's in her home, is among the most sacred, most delightful, and most healthful of things. So hold the hours of work sacred and carry out your duties, each in his own sphere, without fretfulness or boredom; thus you will grow in strength and vigor, and your lives will be lengthened.

★ Do not put off today's work until tomorrow, nor the morning's duties until evening; and if it is possible to finish tomorrow's tasks today, do not fail to do so — you will feel pleasure and satisfaction.

★ Strive never to be parted from one another for long; and let the well one of you share the other's troubles and cares in trial or in sickness. He must be brave, never fretting or wearying, keeping his strength and his smile, so as to play the part of wise guide to his life's partner.

★ Take your time in choosing your intimate friends, and let their number be within your capacity and your ability to devote yourselves to their company with pleasure and delight, without strain to yourselves or to them.

★ Avoid backbiting and mocking others, or making anyone's conduct or person a subject of amusement for yourselves and for others.

★ Do not confide your secrets to others, and be assured that keeping a secret is among the hardest of things — as is finding a loyal, trustworthy confidant.

★ Avoid spirituous drinks and keep them out of your home as far as possible — likewise amusements that are not innocent, for they waste time, health, money, and upright character.

★ Raise your children on sound religious principles, for these are the best and easiest paths to building upright character in the young, so that they may grow up able to understand what is wholesome and what is harmful, what is good and what is evil, and to distinguish between their own rights and the rights of others.

★ Plant in your children's hearts the seeds of mercy and compassion; encourage them to help the needy; and keep hatred and malice far from their thoughts. Thus you will give them immunity against the diseases of evil and cruelty, whose germs will threaten to infect them when they enter the battle of life.

★ Strive to be companions to your children, watching over their home life, their school life, and their social life; choose their companions for them and grant them their innocent wishes; and walk along with them, with moderation and caution, amid the sweeping current of this age.

★ Take care of one another in every sense of the word; guard your precious health; and remember the hearts of your parents, which beat with anxiety for you and with longing to see you in abundant health, complete success, constant good cheer, and abiding peace.

And may you long be preserved for your loving parents, who wish you every good.