idea — how cruel it was to us

both... Yes: what right has a man who can beget nothing but misfits to bind you to him?

A woman sees in a man a means to an end... for motherhood is in her the strongest emotion of all... A woman may weary of a man, but we have never heard of the mother who hated her child. Divorce...

And I went on wrestling with the resolve, and it wrestled with me... I lived a month in the hell of hesitation... And I went searching for the philosophy of strength, a philosophy that does not acknowledge the weak... I found it in Nietzsche, and with it I silenced the promptings of hesitation within myself...

It was not easy to give you up, being to you what you know I was... And I reckoned the news would be a blow to you as it was to me... And yet I went ahead.

For the anguish of some months is nothing beside your living without children your whole life long. And I settled the matter in an hour when my impulses evaporated and nothing remained of me but a lofty, idealistic thought...

I sent you the bill of divorce and took my way to the nearest travel office, where I bought a ticket to Europe. Without a word to explain this sudden resolve — not even to my partner in business...

I did not doubt that this strange conduct had leapt me, in your eyes and in the eyes of people, onto the list of madmen and misfits, and that the seas of bewilderment in which I left you tossing had all but drowned you. I stayed there three years, during which there was no lack of someone to tell me of your marriage — a happy match... And I was not surprised... for your sweetness, your wealth, and your father's social position were enough to secure you a good man who might not bear you a love as great as mine, but who was able to give you a son...

And you were blessed with the child...

And I came back...

I came back not to bar your path... nor to make of myself a hero in your mind...

Rather to erase some of what I reckoned might have clung to your thoughts of me... and to live in your soul as a clean thought... And now it is enough for me in life that you should have the delight of ful-fillment. So kiss for me this little

one who has granted you what my love and my devotion, and all I did for your sake, could not — he has beaten me with one lilting word...

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