tale ends in the divorce court!
The shock is a thunderbolt to the souls of the children at that early age, when they need constant affection and care. And even if divorce never takes place, a marriage like this makes anxiety and doubt two companions walking beside the children, and the burdens fall on innocent members who understand nothing of what goes on around them; and if they do glimpse something through the fog, it is only to take it up for comparison between their own bleak, arid life and the happy, merry life of the neighbors' children. And when the children grow, there arises in their depths a violent loathing and hatred, born of that coldness between their parents, and the home turns from a seat of safety and peace of mind into a refuge of misery and turmoil for those young souls, who are drawn like lightning to other quarters of society, where they give free rein to the youthful impulses pent up in the dwelling.
So the children go out to where they can breathe the fragrance of life and refresh themselves in its radiant light, leaving their parents in an uproar and confusion ruled by the thought of their failure to build a family whose parts hold together. The effect of this failure passes into society, where it spreads until it overwhelms the minds of whole groups, not of individuals only, and they allege that marriage is an absurd thing, inadmissible, and lifeless. How many times have we heard talk of a couple who failed in their marriage, and people hold them up as the general example of marriage — their conduct repugnant and their treatment of each other harsh; and this spectacle works upon the mind and spirit of the onlooker, who concludes from it that marriage is a paltry thing deserving no reverence!
The time has come to do away with this kind of marriage, which exhausts the living forces of society, paralyzes the movement of life, and casts a confusion from which it is hard to rise. For marriage is the nation's leader on the road to life or to extinction!...
If we look at marriage as a living element, let us remember that it must change and renew itself. If you had met a man, say,
ten years ago, and then saw him today unchanged, you would be perplexed at his case, and it would seem to you that some event had prevented his changing and had stood between him and the hand of nature, which changes every living thing.
The insistence that leads many couples to divorce is not reprehensible in itself, for some end their marriage because
You can make certain of the strength or the weakness of the marital bond by answering honestly the questions set out in this short examination. Although these questions are built on foundations belonging to psychology, the sounding of the depths of this complicated subject cannot be contained in this narrow corner; it needs a wider space for expressing your personal opinion at length. Nevertheless, your answers will give you an indication of the truths and the falsities in your marriage.
Mark each of the following statements "true" or "false":
1 - There is no need for distress or concern if your marriage fails, because you can obtain a divorce easily.
2 - A happy marriage requires similarity in the interests of the two spouses.
3 - A successful marriage requires economic security.
4 - Woman is incapable of excess in physical love as man is.
5 - After several years of marriage, the attraction between the two spouses lessens.
6 - If strong love does not continue between the two spouses, their marriage is headed for extinction.
7 - To preserve steadiness, and to keep love from being pressed into drudgery, the two spouses must regulate their relations together.
8 - Children hinder a marriage more than they help it.
9 - The straying wife deserves blame more than the straying man.
10 - Love is a game.
11 - The husband's doing certain household tasks, such as fixing a shelf or repairing a room, and the wife's mastery, on her side, of every kind of good cooking, help preserve true marital happiness.
12 - The two spouses must spend their holidays together.
13 - Marriage is a somewhat noble thing (choose one of the following points):
a - Marriage is a majestic thing, because it is a heavenly institution, sanctified by God.
b - It assures the preservation of the species and the survival of the nation.
c - It joins man and woman in an ideal companionship.
(Answers on page 50)