runs to her husband asking him to be generous with his — which naturally does not please him.
8 — Do not try to change your husband: whether you admit it or not, you married him for his faults, not in spite of them. If his shyness pleased you before the wedding, do not be astonished at its disappearance afterward. Strength and virtue are among the noblest of a man's qualities — but imagine them standing erect before you at the breakfast table every day. Grown people, like the young, are most lovable in their hours of weakness, when they feel the need of one another's help. There are those who say children should be treated like grown-ups; but the reverse of this theory fits better — they should be dealt with indulgently, not scolded and criticized.
9 — Do not compete with your husband: if you lose, you feel scattered and shaken; and if you win, you feel, in place of the pleasure of victory, the pricks of this remark flung by whoever happens to be near: "Whatever did she see in him?" But if compete you must, always arrange to win once and lose once — keeping the first a secret and publishing the second.
10 — Do not grumble if he presses you to make pastries like those his mother used to make him: by doing so you make him pay the dues your father paid. It is most probable that a man wants his wife to be a portrait of his mother; and no less true is the woman's unending effort to cast her husband in her father's mold, even should he count that an impossible extreme. It is understood that man and woman each labor to stir the other with every sort of emotional agitation; and even if both succeed, it does not seriously content her. The pity of it is that our culture makes no provision for a trial marriage between the bride's father and the bridegroom's mother, which would settle these problems that are nothing but a
waste of time.
11 — Remember that marriage is a game; were it not so, it would never have spread as it has. Those who join in this game grow more numerous every day than the players of football and tennis. Some
suppose it a game more widespread among women than among men, but the statistics contradict this supposition: there has not yet been a single year in which the number of women marrying exceeded that of the men.
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