You Can Attract Him!!!

— And that takes more than adorning yourself and improving your appearance. A young woman spoke to me a few days ago and said: I enjoy Farid's company more than any other young man's, but at the office something like twenty girls hover around him. Shall I wear sheer dresses, deliberately alluring, so as to catch his eye? What is to be done to draw near to him?

Suad's problem is not unique of its kind, for many girls spend their utmost effort to catch the attention of a young man who has taken their fancy: they dress with the greatest care and arrange their hair, then choose foods that will not add fat to their bodies or change the color of their complexion — in short, each one pursues charm as far as she is able.

This problem may be standing across your own path: you find a number of well-turned-out girls hovering around the knight of your dreams, and you discover that your qualities — honesty, gaiety, energy — are plain to see in every girl, and you wish you had some special gift to draw his eyes to you. If that is your position, be assured that you possess this advantage and can reach the goal — on condition that his personality be the point of attraction, so that you care for him as a man and nothing more; for the girls' interest in him amounts to nothing but jealousy, not true attraction. This one sees in him a star every girl longs to reach, and so squeezes herself into the line; that one is drawn by his elegance or his generosity. But remember that every human being has spells in which loneliness gnaws at his insides, and he feels a spiritual need for someone who understands him and keeps him company; the superficial praise that everyone showers upon him is not enough for him. Show your interest in his gifts and his philosophy, in his ambitions, his hopes, and his fears — but do not cling to these in theory without action. And here I shall explain to you in detail how you ought to behave:

1 - Let him feel that you like him. You may hold back from trying to arouse his interest in you, so as not to step down from your station; but this notion may drag you to the exactly opposite extreme, so that you shrink coldly into yourself — and both notions drive him away from you. Take a middle course: if your glances meet, do not stare at him coldly or provocatively, and resolve to smile at him a natural smile.

2 - Do not lean too heavily on clothes. If you are one of the "lovers" of dress, you turn all your attention to new clothes; here you must keep the scales of moderation even, so that your clothes look elegant without extravagance. And know that the clothes which attract women repel men — especially if they are very costly.

3 - Take a look at how easily you mix in company, especially with women. Hind wondered at the coolness of Rafiq's interest in her, though she had attracted him at first sight; but when she went out with him the first time, he discovered that she knows how to please a man — for, as she put it, she understands men and delights in their company, not like the women who talk of nothing but fashions. What she failed to see was that she had given him a false idea of herself, and so he shied away; for a man, by his nature, suspects the conduct of a woman who makes no friends among her own sex — and suspicion is the death of love.

4 - Show yourself alone, if only at certain times. Your popularity is one of the factors of your success, but it may also be the road of your fall; for he feels powerless to approach you if you are forever among a crowd, and his shyness keeps him from speaking to you.

5 - Come down from your lofty tower. When Ghassan announced his engagement to Nihad, everyone asked what it was he saw in her, when he could have found girls who surpassed her in beauty and intelligence; and some said she was simply lucky. But all this was far from the young man's mind, and he pointed to it himself, saying: Nihad alone took an interest in the books I like, and encouraged me to go on with the study of journalism, which I love; she is the only one who listened when I spoke to her.

So learn from Nihad: take an interest in the books your companion loves, in his favorite sport, in the kinds of food he finds agreeable, and in the music he is fond of; and if you cannot discover these for yourself, ask him — and listen to his answers with care.

6 - Make him feel your nearness to him, and your interest in the things he loves, so that he may know you are ready to kindle his enthusiasm and to give him affection and tenderness. Be deep in your thinking; then let him believe that it is he who can carry you into the world of magic and enchantment.

After this, his turn remains... and I rather think you will hold the reins of the situation!...