One of the astonishing things in this age of ours is that women fall into mistaken love because they think themselves neglected — that no one looks at them.
Here is the life of a young divorced woman of twenty-seven, descended from an excellent family. But she grew up with her mother in a house that knew neither love nor affection. And now, having understood her own truth, she lays the blame on the shoulders of her parents, who denied her tenderness and kindness at the very time when she was in direst need of both together.
"My mother does not know the meaning of the word love, for she herself was raised like an orphan. I obtained my material needs easily, but they meant nothing beside what is deeper and more precious. And when I discussed this problem with my father, he thought I had grown confused, or been stricken with mania." Such was the statement of a girl who grew up with the conviction, deep within herself, that there was no one at all who loved her. She knows, in truth, that she is attractive and sound of mind, able to understand everything that goes on around her; yet she never feels settled — as though she had resigned herself to being worth nothing and to there being no hope whatever in her life. So she lost confidence in herself: it is enough for a man to smile at her for her to think she has found what she was seeking; he takes possession of her feelings, because her inner impulses have opened the door to a weak man whose true nature would shock any normal woman. And she married him because he spoke to her of love — and that was enough for her to accept him!!
I have told this story by way of reminder, and to draw attention to the pressing need for mutual respect between the sexes, and for deliberation, and for one not to stop short at the beginning of the
road; for we are, in the eyes of others, as we appear in our own. As Maureen O'Hara puts it: "If a woman thinks she is unattractive, that is what others will think of her; but if she uses her gifts to increase her beauty, and thinks with confidence that she is the most beautiful woman in the world,
everyone will be drawn to her, seeing her radiance and vitality."
It does a woman great harm to belittle herself, the wellspring of love and happiness. It is more fitting that we love ourselves so that we may be able to love others; the casting away of self means others casting us away.
I know a girl who managed to marry
in her snares — and this magic means confidence in oneself, sobriety of conduct and movement, and
