... Despair ...

I despaired — and in my depths a longing
clamored, and set my yearnings ablaze,
and a voice keeps repeating amid the flood,
burning what yearnings remain to me:
You have despaired —
so do not dream again.

★

I despaired, and said to my sorrowing heart:
enough of wailing, enough of moaning.
And again I heard a far-off voice
waking a malady buried, deep-buried:
You have despaired —
so speak no more of the years.

★

I despaired, and lived in this misery:
my day despondency, my night weeping.
The voice has not left my hearing —
rather it will sound the call again:
You have despaired —
so do not dream of happiness.

★

I despaired, and my tears wounded my eyes,
and my heart is brimful of grief and sorrows,
and a voice repeats: do you hear?
Let not these fancies deceive you.
You have despaired —
so do not be ignorant of who I am.

★

I despaired — and in my depths clamored
fetters that will strangle my breath,
and a voice grows gentle with a strange whisper,
and stifles what breath remains to me:
You have despaired —
so do not dream again.

★