fled to the far end of the room, crying: Away, you wicked wolf,

you beast of prey...

A mocking laugh escaped him as he said:

— You are still a child, my dear... I mean you no harm... You do not yet know life...

He had barely taken two steps toward me when a fit of madness swept over me. Before I knew it, my hand had seized one of the medical instruments and I hurled it at him, screaming in terror: Do not come near me, you wolf — beware of coming near...

And I heard him say, as he staggered and sank to the floor:

— You have struck me a mortal blow... you fool... you ignorant girl...

*

I did not know what happened after that, for I fell into a long faint, from which I woke to an uproar in our house. Then from certain voices I managed to gather that the doctor had been taken to the hospital, and that his condition gave no cause for comfort... No sooner had I opened my eyes than they met my mother's... She was stroking my brow gently, tears pouring down her cheeks, while signs of satisfaction and pride were drawn upon her face...

— Thank God for your safety, my girl...

She followed these words with a look from which I understood that she wished to say she was proud of me and of what my hands had wrought...

And for the first time in my life, I felt that a thick barrier stood between me and my mother... I felt a fit of madness sweep over me and take hold of me... I wanted to scream at her in fury and

resentment, flinging in her face all the counsels she had given me and all the upbringing she had reared me on...

But I pitied her, and pitied myself, and kept silent, feeling desolation flood my soul and pain wring my heart... Then before long I broke into a violent fit of weeping, repeating over and over: I want to see him... take me to him... I am a criminal... I want to beg his pardon and forgiveness...

Yielding to my insistent wish, my mother took me to the hospital where he lay. My heart pounded with dread; I was afraid, wondering what I should do if I found him in a dangerous state... The moment I saw the doctor in charge of him, I forgot everything and began questioning him eagerly about his condition. He reassured me, saying that the gash on his head was quite superficial, and that his condition gave no cause for worry... I felt a heavy burden lifted from my shoulders... Yet my fears soon returned when we entered his room, and there he was, sunk in deep slumber, his head bound in white wrappings that struck terror into my heart...

No sooner had we drawn near him than he suddenly opened his eyes, as if he had been feigning sleep, and startled me by saying, the shadow of a smile appearing on his lips:

— Is it you, sinner?

Then he looked at my mother and continued:

— Your daughter, madam, is a criminal who deserves the severest punishment... She very nearly took my life... and I in turn shall exact my due of her...

Alarm showed on my mother's face; she tried to say something, but the words stumbled and

faltered in her mouth and would not come out...

I looked at him with imploring eyes, and was on the point of pleading with him: I am sorry, for-give me... or do with me what you will, for I deserve punishment...

He went on, addressing my mother:

— Have you heard, madam? I mean to exact my due of your daughter, and you in turn will consent to the punishment in spite of yourself... And here I pronounce the sentence now...

Our gazes hung upon his lips... As for him, he was lost in thought a moment, as though pondering what he would say; then he said, with deliberate gravity:

— The punishment, madam, is that you give her to me in marriage...

My mother's mouth fell open... and I stared wide-eyed...

And he continued:

— That is the punishment... Do you consent?

I held my breath to catch the answer, my face flushed, my features brightening, and my eyes shining... My mother looked at me with tenderness — and behold, she consented with a nod of her head. Never in my life had I loved my mother as I loved her in that hour... And with an involuntary movement — I might even say an unconscious one — I sprang from my place, clasped my mother to my breast, and covered her with my kisses, repeating: How I love you now, mother... God, how I love you!!

Just Published: "Small Things" by Samira Azzam

Just published

"Small Things"

A collection of stories by Samira Azzam