... I love her, for she was and still is my mother! I seek her in my hours of darkness as the thirsty earth seeks the water of the sky! I long for her as the blind man longs for the light of day... I am small of soul, withered of spirit, without her.

•

Yesterday I saw you, Mother, in the street beside your car, talking with a friend of yours and laughing... I felt my heart being crushed as I watched your clothes and your elegance overwhelm everything around you... I did not stir from my place at the shop door, and I kept staring at a glittering necklace around your neck... your beautiful white neck, around which I used to wind my arms whenever the cares of childhood wound their nets around my soul...

Someone wanted to enter the shop, so I made way for him and stood aside, staring once more. Then my soul cried out in anger:

"What a beggar for affection and love you are! What an abject creature, who returns no slap and knows no hatred! Lower your eyelids and go away from her, and do not stare so long, like a simpleton seeing the sun for the first time!"...

So I dragged my feet and moved away, walking slowly, on my shoulders a burden heavy as iron, which neither falls nor melts, but stays there always, crushing my flesh and bone...

I reached the house reeling like a drunkard, and "Mama" leapt from her chair to ask what was the matter, and I said, contending with my tears:

"I saw her. She was on the other side of the road, and as usual I did not dare go near her..."

Her hands rose to my head, taking it like a sick child's, and she whispered:

"Come to bed; you are tired after all that studying, and I will read you something to take away your weariness."

I put my lips to a white lock of her hair and kissed it with trembling lips... And when the warmth of the bed enfolded me I felt a great need to be alone, so I said:

"Mama, I want to think a little, by myself..."

She looked at me sorrowfully, then kissed me and went out quietly... And I wanted to cry out in explanation:

"Mama, come, let me make you understand what you do not understand! I love you! I love you more than anyone in this existence — but I love her too, for she was and still is my mother! I seek her in my hours of darkness as the thirsty earth seeks the water of the sky! I long for her as the blind man longs for the light of day! I need her as a naked body needs clothes... I am small of soul, withered of spirit, without her... Come, let