that my brother's wife said to him, "How I wish I might be granted a little girl who would turn out like Samia, so pretty and so sweet."
At home I kept watching her; the far-away look showed on her only at scattered intervals, when she would gaze into the distance
and then return once more to her gaiety.
October 7
Today we went to Samia's house. I had wanted, today, to ask her her mind, for she goes off to school tomorrow and perhaps I shall not see her again until at the airport on the day of my departure. On the visit were my brother, his wife, and I. When we started up the pick-up, I asked Samia to dance; she looked at me, laughing, and said, "I'm afraid I'd step on your feet — I am not clever at dancing."
My brother looked at her and said: "You are still ill-mannered and long of tongue, and I'll show him how to bring you up." Then he asked her to dance with him, and when she rose, he took hold of her by the ears and lifted her into the air while she struggled to break free, kicking with her feet; then he set her down on the floor and kissed her, laughing — and she punched him with both her fists and slipped away in flight, her face the color of blood...
I understood that she still loved him... and that my hope of her was
slight. But I would not give in; I wanted to try my luck... For the second time I invited her to dance; then, for the last time, I asked her: will you wait for me?
I had expected her to congratulate me, or to say anything to me other than what she said... For she looked at me with the utmost tenderness and said:
"No, I shall not be able to love you. And do not think it is on account of Ahmad — no; I have will enough to forget his love, and time will see to that, and everything time sees to must be erased. So it is with my love... the days will erase it, and nothing will remain to me of it but a fragrant memory in which I shall live for a time — and perhaps in which I shall live my whole time... But you — or anyone else — I shall never be able to love anyone with a love as strong as my first... As for waiting for you, that will do me no harm,
so long as you are in no hurry... and so long as you are not bound to anyone..."
"That promise is enough for me, Samia; I am content with it, and I shall make the days remind you of me and incline your heart toward me... For now, this word is enough... Yes, it is enough."
She has promised, and that is the important thing; and I worship her, and that is what is plain... Many women have passed through my life, ripe young women... I wearied of them quickly, for the shallowness of their love and the silliness of their feelings... But now I have been struck in the very core of my vanity: I was astonished to find myself silly and shallow before a feeling as deep as this — a feeling I had not expected. It is a lesson in love that I received from a child... an innocent one... A child?! And what a child!! Rather — what a child am I!!
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