and the nights you will pass on burning coals, watching for the aviator-husband's return?
But I listened to all that with a lover's ear, which does not distinguish truth from falsehood or wrong from right... And when Spencer appeared, as he had promised, it was the greatest proof of how attached to him I was... My mother approved of him, and Uncle "Sol" gave us his blessings...
In August of that season I visited Win's family in Chicago... They were kindness itself to me; and I discovered that he was the eldest of four brothers and two sisters... His mother at first took the same stand toward our marriage as my own mother had, but she was not long in consenting, wishing us happiness and contentment.
A little later, misfortunes came one upon another to Win's family: two of his brothers were killed, his sister took her own life, and his mother died in a collision... Then Win himself passed through a chain of tragedies in his private life, for he married four times; he died in 1950 at sixty-one.
The formal engagement was announced in September of 1916, and on October 8 our marriage took place amid a halo of white lilies, and within a circle of the men of American aviation...
The wedding gown I had made ready was of white velvet embroidered with pearls, over a skirt of white "lace" as well; I carried in my hand a cluster of white lilies, and my head was adorned with a wreath of orange blossom... Win obtained two weeks' leave for the honeymoon, which we divided between "West Virginia" and New York...
I had gone with Win into our room at the hotel when I heard his voice rise in curses as he looked at a notice under the glass of the table... When I came nearer I made out that he was pointing to the dryness of West Virginia — no wine there and no strong drink — and he turned to me, saying: This is a reception for you; as for me, I cannot stay here... And though he was joking with me, his words drew back a curtain from something that had remained hidden from me until that hour... Then he walked to his valise and took out a bottle of "gin," muttering: It will last me till I reach the next station...
This was a surprise to a girl who, like me, had grown up in a house that did not countenance drinking; up to that time I had tasted nothing but a sip of champagne which the family was accustomed to serve at Christmas... And so, on my honeymoon, I discovered that the bottle rarely left my husband's side...
We returned to live in one of the dwellings set aside for aviation men; the veranda of the house looked out on a splendid bay, and my days passed within a "routine" that seldom varied... Our horizon reached no farther than the "Pensacola" station... And within this circle I created, with the women of the neighborhood, a society complete in itself... its substance the parties and the dinners attended by the aviators and their wives; and sometimes we would go out in flocks to the town to attend a dance or see the cinema... But the moments that still live in my mind and torment me are those hours we spent waiting for the outcome of some
frightful crash, to learn which one of us it was whose husband was the victim this time...
And "Win's" turn came, and he all but lost his life, had it not been for the rescue launch that delivered him from the jaws of the deep... In the days that followed I could not bear to look at an airplane or think of one... Win's duties grew heavier day by day; on April 6, 1916, the United States entered the war, and at the same time Win was promoted, then received an order to move to "Boston" to organize a flying unit there. It was a respectable post, and his advancement showed how highly his qualifications and abilities were esteemed; but the news did not please him... He aspired to fight the battles in Europe, and so he came to wait with utter impatience to be released from the new assignment... His work began at six in the morning and lasted until eight or nine at night, and when he came back he would take his dinner and sleep... And I can affirm that this was the happiest period of our marriage — the more so as he had stopped taking strong drink!
It would have been easy for me to be content with this routine had I been able to persuade myself that there was a mutual understanding between us... And I needed no one to tell me that our marriage was threatened by a great danger.
On the eleventh of November, 1918, the armistice was declared, and in a mad joy the people celebrated the end of the war; they danced in the streets and filled the parks... Win stood pleased with what he had done, but his gaiety faded when he returned to himself. The forces would not