will not marry a man who does not want me and wants my child.

And I muttered: Jean, don't be foolish... we must marry... why didn't you tell me before now?

She said: I thought a thing like this is not said on paper but on an outing... in a car, with your arm around me... I — and her voice choked — I thought you thought of no one but me... I thought you were a man.

I muttered again: Jean... but she turned her face away and snarled:

Get out of here... go... I will not marry you even if you go down on your knees and beg me... Go.

The next day I went back to camp, but before I left I went to Jean... I asked her whether she had changed her mind. She was silent a long time, then said: And

what about the other girl?... I said: That is not the important point... And I heard her catch her breath and then say: Yes, Jud, it is an important point to me... I want nothing from you that you do not give with your whole freedom... and your heart... and your will... Forget it, Jud, and go; I don't want to see you again.

And I felt relieved in spite of myself... I had offered her marriage and she had refused, so what more was asked of me! Jean had surrendered to me easily —

perhaps she had done the same with others... perhaps the baby was not mine!

That is what I persuaded myself of, to quiet my conscience... and to push away from before me Jean's eyes, full of terror and despair.

I married Stella... and lived the first weeks in a bliss