Women's Problems

Q — I am a girl of twenty, which is the fitting time to begin using nourishing creams for the skin. What cream do you advise me to use?

S., Beirut

A — And who told you, my dear questioner, that the face of a girl of twenty needs nourishers? The truth is that the longer a girl delays using creams, the longer she keeps her glow and her freshness. Beware of turning, before thirty, to these preparations, which for the most part contain toxic substances that work toward early wrinkling.

Q — I am a young woman troubled by my dry, frizzy hair. I had it straightened last year at the hairdresser's, and before long it fell out. It has now grown long and needs dressing again, and I fear it will suffer what it suffered last year. What shall I do? And what shampoo should I use to wash it?

R. T., Aley

A — It is quite plausible that the preparation the hairdresser used to straighten your hair is what caused its falling out, and so I do not advise you at all to repeat the attempt. What I think is that you should accustom yourself to treating your hair with a stiff brush every evening and every morning, for this operation softens the hair and stimulates the roots of the follicles to secrete freely a substance that lends the hair softness and luster.

As for shampoo, I do not know why we all prefer it to soap. I personally see nothing better than the local baladi soap containing pure olive oil; try it, my dear, and watch for improved results.

Q — Madam, I want to know why a young man loves long hair and hates short hair?...

And I want also to know why a young man presses a girl's hand when he greets her?... Urgent, if you please, and my thanks to you.

Juliette A., Beirut

A — Your little urgent request, my dear, is exceedingly simple.

1 — Young men's love of long hair goes back to an inward inclination in their souls toward love of femininity in woman. Long hair lends a womanly beauty to a woman's countenance.

2 — The young man's habit of pressing a girl's hand is spontaneous. In every young man there is an instinctive longing to touch the girl and to show his inclination toward her, and so he finds himself driven, without intending it, to this silent declaration. As for the deliberate pressing by certain young men on the hand of a woman or a girl — any woman of the moment — that is impudence and want of taste.

A final remark: your questions are reasonable and I have answered them. Will you tell me, then, why your "urgency" to know the answer!

Q — I am a young woman fond of reading, of listening to the radio stations, and of watching the cinema; but what spoils my life is what befalls me while reading, or while following a film. I merge with the heroes of the story and am stirred so violently that I forget myself and imagine I am living with them, with no existence of my own at home. Afterward a pain comes over my chest by turns, a turmoil in my spirit, a pounding in my heart, and I am forced to leave the book, or shut off the radio, or quit the cinema hall, and I surrender to a fit of bitter weeping. What is the way to be cured of this condition?

A. R., Marjayoun

A — It appears, my dear questioner, that you are of the sensitive, finely-strung emotional type, and the worst thing you can do in a condition like yours is to give the self its full range in weeping or in melancholy, or in suppression and brooding [...]

What I see is that there is in your life some lack, some complaint of unfulfillment; a finely-strung nature, joined to this lack, produces the reaction you have described. The first step in treatment is to search for the cause of the unfulfillment or the lack. Try, when you feel dejection, to turn to yourself and search with it for the inward cause, and do not allow this dejection free rein to become melancholy and tears; rather turn the current of your thoughts to some other activity... to a walk that opens the chest, or to a cheering, restful companion, for instance...

Age, too, has its effect: as you advance in years your emo-tions will become more mature and less exhausting. There is also the possibility of an inclination in you toward creating something, such as writing, music, or drawing; if this feeling presses upon you, answer it with ease and without suppression or withdrawal into yourself, which only deepens the melancholy and the distress and torment it drags along.

Try by yourself to overcome the first factors that led to this condition, and avoid reading exciting, nerve-stirring stories until you are able to control your emotions and take hold of their reins.

I am a girl of twenty, engaged to a young man I love, in complete accord between us. But he hates my using lipstick, and my adorning myself with it vexes him. What shall I do to ward off his anger and the cooling of his love, knowing that I am very fond of adorning myself with this rouge?

Diya' S., Beirut

A — The matter is a matter of taste, and I know many men who, like your fiancé, do not like their women to adorn themselves with lipstick. Some of them prefer natural beauty in a woman or a girl. Another group has its own particular views of the female; they are, for the most part, fanatical.

Nor should we forget certain girls who so overdo the daubing of their lips with rouge as to reach the point of disgust... And something else worth mentioning: some lips have a special charm that agrees with the features of the face when untouched by rouge. If lipstick is used in such a case, the lips stand out in a way that spoils the harmony of the face with the mouth.

Try to discover for yourself the reasons that make your fiancé trouble you over so simple a matter... And there is no harm in consulting one of the beauty houses, for your particular problem may have a technical cause you