Q — What shall I do, Madam? My problem is that there is a young man next door to our house who loves me greatly and wants to marry me, but I absolutely do not want him. What shall I do...? Help me.

Ninette Q., Chiyah

A — The matter is very simple... Be sober in your conduct before this young man, and make no motions or maneuvers of a kind to encourage him to persist in his infatuation with your love... Be frank with your family about the subject — better still, tell your mother of the matter, so that if anything should appear in the said young man harmful to your interest and your reputation, your mother would be fully informed of all that goes on. Then, if there are ordinary relations between you and this young man, seize the fitting opportunity and tell him frankly that you appreciate his feeling and respect his emotions, but that you are unable

to accept his offer of marriage — and offer him acceptable excuses. If you are under twenty and still in your days of study, tell him that you aspire to continue your studies and will not think of marriage, at the present time at least. And if you have finished your studies and turned to public life and work, or to the affairs of the house while awaiting your destined portion, then tell him that marriage must be joined to compatibility of the spouses and of inclinations and complete harmony between the two parties... and that you do not find in yourself a whole-hearted inclination to be joined to him. Do not forget to ask him to keep away from you and look for another girl. And I charge you not to feed his feeling, nor to fall to criticizing his person; on the contrary, show your esteem for him with sobriety and without exaggeration.

Q — I love him and he loves me, and hardly had several months passed over this love of ours when I fell out with him, because I saw him with a strange girl standing with him on the balcony of his house. No sooner did I see him in that state than my head began to spin and a violent headache seized me. I stayed three days without seeing him. What shall I do, Madam? Shall I leave him to his way, or open the subject with him?

S. B., Hazmieh

A — Come back to your senses, forget what you saw, and look for an excuse with which to explain your absence from your said friend. You have the right, my dear, to be angered at seeing your friend with another girl, but you must not rush to judge by appearances before making sure

of the kind of relation binding this friend of yours to that strange girl. Moreover, you did not mention whether this friend of yours loves you with the intention of marrying you. This is a very important point, for many young men befriend more than one girl, their relations going no further than ordinary friendship, most of which ends in the choice of the fitting companion for a virtuous married life. So I advise you first to learn your friend's intentions, and to make sure that he is in earnest in his attachment.

The message of the Lebanese Women's League to the Arab woman: it defends her causes, treats her problems, and unites her ranks. It is a free platform for the Arab woman, and the bold voice that speaks her will.

Q — I am a wretched woman, for my husband loves another over me. Although I have no tangible proofs against him, I live in an inferno of killing doubts, and I keep asking myself, whenever he leaves the house or is late in returning: where can he be, and with whom? What is the way to regain my place with him?

S. M., Sin el-Fil

A — I shall not strengthen your weapon against your husband, especially as you are not sure your accusations are sound; most likely it is those doubts you describe that weave for you imaginary tales and happenings without any foundation.

And supposing that your husband is betraying you, I shall

ask you to go back to yourself and search for the reason for which your husband turned from you to another. Most likely there are faults in you that drove him away; try to mend your faults and return to what you were on the day he loved you and chose you as his life's companion. Win him with kindness and conciliation, not with nagging, blame, and too much talk, which are among the greatest threats to a happy married life.

The man who loves another over his wife is only searching for what he wants and desires in a woman, and you know his inclinations better than anyone, for you are the nearest of all people to him. Be yourself the one he loves and desires, and you will cut off his road to seeking another.

1 — Guard against a double chin (the "gland") by lifting your chin without thrusting it forward.

2 — Sleep on a small pillow, or with no pillow at all.

3 — Rest your elbows on the table and, with your fists, press beneath your chin, then relax; repeat this exercise many times.

4 — When you read, hold your book at the level of your eyes.

5 — Every night massage your neck with cream from below upward, as part of the operation of massaging the face.