How to Make Your Husband Happy

I do not know the Western woman's opinion on making a husband happy, nor do I advise imitating her. Her point of view on the matter differs from ours, just as home upbringing with her differs from home upbringing with us, particularly in what concerns the husband and her way of regarding him. When I broach this subject, I broach it as the Eastern woman who considers the husband the head of the house and the source of blessing, who values his unceasing work to provide the means of comfort for his wife, and who at the same time asks for love, respect, freedom, and equality. I shall not attempt to write out a list of what a woman must do or avoid in order to make her husband happy, for such rules do not apply to every husband. I believe, therefore, that every woman must understand her husband and his temperament, and lay down for herself rules that may perhaps apply to her husband alone, and follow them — without resorting to logic to arm herself with, or to argument propped up with strong proofs. She must set logic aside, however hard that may be, and let her one aim be the husband's happiness.

There are, however, two general rules necessary to the happiness of every woman and the happiness of her husband.

The first: do not let the sun set on your anger. No doubt a misunderstanding or a difference of view sometimes arises between husband and wife, leading to argument — and to rough and sharp argument, if one of the two is tired and out of temper. All this happens; only you must forget it, or pretend to forget it, before you go to your bed. You may find this very hard, especially if you were not the one at fault; you may perhaps count it a killing of your personality, or tyranny on your husband's part. Count it what you will — that is a reckoning between you and yourself, a struggle in which forgetting must win out, and forgetting with good grace; otherwise you will suffer, and make your husband suffer.

The second: do not provoke jealousy, and do not try to stir jealousy in your husband in the belief that this will strengthen his love. That is all very well in a stage play. In life, the love between you must rest on complete frankness and on truthfulness in word and deed, not on momentary appetizers and stimulants that arouse your husband's jealousy. Be truthful with him in word and deed always, even if it exposes you to his blame and his reproach; for he will not respect you unless you are.