Discover Your Manners

Though habits and traditions change from one country to another, good manners remain in their essence the same thing in Shanghai as they are in Paris or Beirut. Good manners help us to choose our friends and to keep them, and to win a good name for ourselves.

Test the goodness of your manners by the list of questions set out below, and choose the answer to each question with the word "yes" or "no." Each "yes" scores 5 points, and the sum of what you obtain gives the percentage. A score of less than eighty is unsatisfactory.

1 — Do you give up your seat, in a crowded room or in public conveyances, to those older than yourself?

2 — Do you keep your social appointments?

3 — Do you answer your private correspondence in due season?

4 — Do you give your orders quite clearly, kindly, and calmly to those who wait upon you?

5 — If a shopkeeper, a restaurant waiter, a hairdresser, or someone of that kind commits a mistake, do you refrain from making more fuss than the mistake deserves?

6 — Do you refrain from criticizing a member of your family, or a close friend, before others?

7 — Do you refrain from passing on hurtful and dangerous gossip?

8 — Do you thank those who serve you, or do you show them some generosity, or not?

9 — Do you respect the opinions of others?

10 — Do you make use of the public facilities provided for cleanliness or for natural needs as though they were your private property?

11 — Do you observe with an intimate friend the same standard of conduct as with one of your ordinary acquaintances?

12 — Do your words and deeds express your inner self, or do you use them in trying to impress others?

13 — Do you curb your feelings and keep your courtesy when you enter a discussion or a verbal dispute?

14 — When you borrow a book, do you take care to return it as soon as you have finished reading it?

15 — Do you refrain from using signs and gestures, shakes of the head and rollings of the eyes, when a spoken answer would be more tactful?

16 — Do you refrain from raising your voice so that it drowns the conversation of others?

17 — Do you pay your debts when they fall due?

18 — Do you rise from your place to shake hands with one older than yourself?

19 — Do you refrain from talking and chatting with others while watching what is presented before you on the stage or the white screen—acting, singing, and the like?

20 — Have you answered these questions with complete frankness and honesty?