article · Issue No. 6, June 1947 · p. 35
But What of the Hunger of the Heart!..
أما جوع القلب !.. · سلوى البستاني
The hand of fate stirred and, for a wisdom unknown to us, gestured its command that this human creature be deprived of money — behold him... His eyes welled with tears, and his lips tightened over an aching heart — a mounting misery engulfed him, so that he loathed life and life loathed him, as if it were dying in him and he dying in it. Food grew scarce and clothing threadbare, and his shelter came to equal the shelter of a domestic animal. Hunger bit him, and there was nothing to eat in his shelter, so he went out to beg. Passersby saw him: his rags spoke plainly of his poverty, and his belly, clinging to his back, of his hunger.
Small coins rained down upon him; his eyes glimpsed signs of feeling on some faces, and his ears caught words of compassion from some mouths: "This is the poor man — come to his aid. Fill his belly, clothe his body, house him in a decent dwelling, for he has no money that might turn into a splendid house, appetizing food, and fine raiment..." So spoke those who saw the hunger of the belly and took pity on the hungry man.
The hand of fate stirred and, for a wisdom unknown to us, gestured its command that this human creature be deprived of exchanging, with his heart, love for love. Behold him, elegantly dressed, his eyes tearful, his chest tight, his soul in pain... He hated life and life hated him, as though no cause joined his everlasting existence to her eternity. His heart hungered, and feeling sought its food and did not find it; so he went out in search of it, wearing a smile commanded by the mind, since the heart was empty of it.
People saw him: fine clothes that told of great wealth, a splendid house, and wide standing... So the poor man envied him his money, and the rich man wished he had still more atop this money.
So spoke some who saw the body's fullness and missed the soul's hunger; they praised the well-fed body and did not see within it the hungry soul.
But this artificial smile — what does it hide beneath it?
It hides a heart melting with love, with no one to return it or understand it and console it... a heart that seeks its food — love — and does not obtain it. Within it, forever, is a fierce hunger.
So from this splendid house to the table of appetizing food, beneath these fine clothes, there is a hungry, wretched, sorrowful creature whose heart does not find the love it seeks — his sorrow deepened by people's supposing him happy; they envied him, and he feels as though he were in a desert, though the people around him are many.
The belly hungers, and we recognize the hungry one;
The heart hungers, and we do not recognize the hungry one;
For the first hungry one there is generosity and compassion. For the second, envy and envy again — for we counted him happy.
Would that hearts came to know one another and found companionship, as bodies come to know one another and lend one another aid...
The hunger of the belly kills its victim, and he is but one human being; as for the hunger of the heart — were mankind empty of it, all would die away from their humanity...
تحركت يد القدر وأومأت آمرة لحكمة نجهلها بحرمان المال هذا المخلوق الانساني - هاكه ... دمعت عيناه ، وتقطبت شفتاه عن قلب موجع - شقاء متزايد غره فبغض الحياة وبغضته ، فكأنها هي تموت فيه وهو يموت فيها . عز المأكل ورث الملبس ، وتساوى مأواه بمأوى حيوان داجن عضه الجوع فلا ما يؤكل في مأواه فخرج مستجدياً . رآه المارة فافصحت اطماره عن فقره وبطنه اللاصق بظهره عن جوعه .
وتساقطت عليه الدريهمات ولمحت عيناه تأثرات على بعض الوجوه وتسمعت اذناه كلمات اشفاق من بعض الافواه : « هو الفقير اغيثوه . جوفه املأوه ، جسمه اكسوه ، في مسكن لائق اسكنوه ، فلا مال لديه يستحيل منزلاً فخماً ومأكلاً شهياً وملبساً فاخراً ... » بهذا تلفظ من رأى جوع البطن فاشفق على الجائع .
تحركت يد القدر وأومأت لحكمة نجهلها آمرة بحرمان هذا المخلوق الانساني مبادلة قلبه حباً بحب . هاكه متأنقاً ، عيناه دامعتان ، وصدره منقبض ، ونفسه متألمة ... كره الحياة وكرهته فكأن لا سبب يجمع بين وجوده الابدي وازليتها . جاع قلبه فنشد الحس غذاءه فلم يجده ، فخرج طالباً له تعلوه ابتسامة أمر بها العقل اذ خلا منها القلب .
رآه الناس : ثياب فاخرة تنبى عن المال الكثير ، والمنزل الفخم ، والجاه العريض ... فالفقير حسده على ماله ، والغني تمنى لو كان له فوق هذا المال .
بهذا تلفظ بعض من رأى شبع الجسد وفاته جوع النفس ، فحمد الجسد الشبعان ولم ير فيه النفس الجائعة .
ولكن هذه الابتسامة المصطنعة ماذا تخفي تحتها ؟
انها تخفي قلباً يذوب حباً ولا من يباده او يفهمه فيعزيه ... قلباً يطلب غذاءه : الحب ، ولا يحصل عليه . ففيه ابداً جوع شديد .
فمن هذا المنزل الفخم الى طاولة المأكل الشهية تحت هذه الثياب الفاخرة ، مخلوق جائع بائس حزين لا يجد قلبه الحب الذي ينشد - يزيد في حزنه ظن الناس به سعيداً ، فحسدوه فهو يشعر كأنه في صحراء ، والناس من حوله كثيرون .
يجوع البطن فنميز الجائع ؛
ويجوع القلب ولا نميز الجائع ؛
فللجائع الاول سخاء واشفاق . وللجائع الثاني حسد ثم حسد وقد حسبناه سعيداً .
حبذا لو تعارفت القلوب فتأنست ، كما تتعارف الاجساد فتتعاون ...
جوع البطن يقتل صاحبه وهو انسان ، وجوع القلب لو خلت منه الانسانية لماتت جميعاً عن الانسانية ...
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