How Do They Marry in the Hijaz?

A young man cannot broach the subject of marriage with his father and mother; rather, he demurs — or feigns reluctance — if it is broached with him, out of tact and bashfulness. Marriage here comes early: a person may marry at fourteen years of age, and the girl at twelve, if they have come of age; most often the girl marries at fourteen.

The idea of the son's marriage takes shape in the parents' minds when he comes of age. They review the girls among their kin or the girls of the quarter, and the mother goes around to the houses to see the desired girl, if she is not already known to her, and to look her over anew. If the family being visited learns that the purpose is the viewing of their girl for marriage, they hide her; indeed, if she herself learns of it, she hastens to conceal herself and withdraw.

If the viewing ends in approval, the father — or whoever stands in his place in the family — is informed, and he sends messengers of his own to ask the girl's father for his daughter's hand; the answer is usually deferred for inquiry.

If he consents, he replies with acceptance, and the bridegroom's father brings the dower they agree upon, which varies according to the families. Suitability of match, among those who are not Sayyids and Sharifs (1), consists in work and virtuous character.

The bride's people make ready her trousseau and set the bridegroom a date for the contract, then another date for the consummation. When the time of the contract comes, the bridegroom proceeds at night with his companions and his invited guests, most often on foot, carrying gas lamps and boxes of sweets. The bridegroom walks at their head with some of his age-mates, and behind them the guests, with a singer among them, until they reach the bride's house, where the guests assembled there receive them; the company halts, and the singer delivers his song of welcome.

Then the licensed marriage official concludes the contract; then sweets are distributed, and the people bless the bridegroom and congratulate his father and his guardians; then they turn back home.

When the contract is concluded, the bridegroom sends his mother and some of his kinswomen to his bride's house with a gift of sweets, fruit, and sugared nuts, so that they may offer blessings to the bride's family; and the latter do likewise, going to the bridegroom's house, and the mother-in-law puts upon her daughter's husband a ring of silver or of gold — usually silver, since gold is forbidden to men.

At the consummation a great evening celebration is held in each of the two houses, the bridegroom's and the bride's. The bridegroom proceeds with some chosen companions and some of the leading men to the bride's house, either on foot or by automobile; the bride's people receive them warmly and seat them at the place of honor. After the singer has sung, the bridegroom moves — with the bride's father or her brother or her uncle — to her quarters, where his kinswomen, who are called the haddara, receive him. When he enters the bride's room, crowded with the invited ladies, bedecked and veiled, the tirewoman who performs the bride's 'jilwa' takes hold of him and seats him in a chair facing her — the bride's face being covered. The bridegroom recites to himself some verses of the Wise Remembrance; scarcely has he finished the Fatiha when the tirewoman pronounces the name of God, lifts the transparent veil, takes the husband's hand and presses it upon the bride's head for some minutes, until he has finished reciting the Throne Verse. He sits before her in bashfulness, both of them silent; a glass of a sweet drink is offered him, which he takes; then he returns to those awaiting him, and they all go back, sent off by the men with cries of welcome and by the women with ululations.

The night is kept alive in the two bridal houses with singing, music, and entertainments. Shortly before dawn the bride is conveyed in procession to her husband's house in a decorated automobile, accompanied by two or three women and guarded by the father, the brother, or the uncle. The bride is handed over to her husband, who comes forward to the automobile, takes her by the hand, and walks with her slowly until his kinswomen — his mother, say, or his maternal aunt — receive her from him.

The guests take the breakfast meal, which is 'zalabia' and choice varieties of appetizing dishes. Then the husband enters the chamber to his wife and sits before her in an ornamented chair and adorns her finger with a ring, or her neck with a necklace, or her wrist with a bracelet; this gift is called the 'subha.' After him the ladies present the bride with their costly gifts.

(1) They are the descendants of Fatima al-Zahra, may God be pleased with her.

(From al-Alam al-Arabi)