Are You Shy? Why Are You Shy?

Every person is liable, in one circumstance or another, or at some period of time, to fall prey to shyness — it is a condition from which hardly anyone is spared, yet it can be cured and cast off if a person resolves to do so.

The person free of shyness is the one who can behave naturally in every setting and with every class of people... Such a person feels, with genuine conviction, that he has every right to sit in the company of princes and to voice his opinion in their presence frankly, without hesitation or confusion... Anything short of that falls under the heading of shyness, and it can be cured...

So if you, Madam, are one of the hundreds who feel the symptoms of shyness within themselves, I will point you to ten steps at whose end you will arrive at the courage you desire. Study these precepts well and apply them to the letter, and you will gain courage and self-confidence — and that is all you lack.

1 — Do this physical exercise three times a day as a first step: Stand up straight, feet together, then rise up as high as you can, then return to your natural stance. This exercise strengthens your self-confidence...

2 — Since shallow breathing accompanies shyness, you would do well to take long, deep breaths several times, and you will feel new strength stealing into you.

3 — If you are at a gathering, formal or informal, hold something in your hand — a book or a handkerchief, for example — because it has been proven that a shy person is put at ease and gains moral courage from some small thing to hold onto, just as the singer does. She rarely lets go of her handkerchief or some small object to cling to!

4 — It is essential that you train yourself to look easily and attentively into the faces of the people you speak with, taking an interest in them and lending them a willing ear. This is not easy for a shy person, but everything comes with practice and will.

5 — Accustom yourself to giving the person you are talking with a light, natural smile — for a smile is conclusive proof of your self-confidence and of your fearing nothing.

6 — Show your interest in people, and if some great deed stirs you, praise its author frankly and warmly, for this interest turns your thoughts away from yourself toward the outside world and raises you in the eyes of the one you praise, who will keep a high place for you in his heart on account of your praise of him.

7 — If you are in a gathering or at a party, take an interest in someone else — a shy girl, for instance — and try to rescue her from her shyness by introducing her to your friends and steering the conversation toward her particular merits...

8 — In your own room, stand before the mirror and practice your manner of receiving people and the phrases you say on different occasions — for this will secure your confidence in facing what you may fear failing at...

9 — And if you are not sure of your walk and the movements of your hands and legs, while walking and while sitting, practice these movements alone until you master them and they become natural and graceful. Consult your mirror in this exercise as well.

10 — Learn one art, so that you become skilled in it — and thereby you can speak of it with an intelligence that will make people regard you with respect...