Ask Whatever You Wish

Ask whatever you wish?

Q: I say frankly that I am not inclined to smile. And if I force it, I am being artificial. Yet there is no doing without a smile, since it is the key to success. What am I to do?

A: Do not think that if you make a show of cheerfulness you are being affected. Make yourself smile. And when you are alone, make yourself "whistle," or "hum" a tune, or sing. Behave as though you were truly happy, and before long you will actually believe that you are happy.

And happiness is to possess your thoughts so that they are at your disposal—not to be the captive of circumstances and conditions. Happiness does not depend on what you own, or who you are, or where you are, or what you do; it lies in how you think. For example: two people in the same place, doing the same work, having an equal share of money and standing, both enjoying good health—yet all this does not prevent one of them from being miserable and the other happy. The secret lies in the point of view each takes of himself. "There is nothing either good or bad," said Shakespeare, "but thinking makes it so."

Q: I suffer from the problem of forgetfulness. Very often I miss opportunities I had been awaiting with some person whose name or face I have forgotten. Is there any means by which I can overcome forgetfulness???

A: Many of us, Madam, suffer from this problem. For instance, after one of us is introduced to some person and talks with him for a few minutes, she takes her leave of him with a faint mumble, because she has forgotten his name. Napoleon III used to boast that he remembered the name of every person he had ever met, despite all his affairs of state. And the method is simplicity itself, as Dale Carnegie has explained it. If Napoleon did not hear distinctly the name of the person being presented to him, he would say, "I am sorry. I did not hear the name clearly." And if the name was an unusual one, he would say, "How is it spelled?" In the course of the conversation he would keep repeating the name several times, and would associate it in his mind with the man's features, his countenance, or his outward appearance. And if the man was of importance, he would go further still. When he was alone he would write the name on a slip of paper, look at it, fix his attention upon it, and impress it on his mind. Then he would tear up the paper. In this way the eye cooperates with the ear in printing it on the memory. All this takes time. But do not forget that "good manners," as Emerson says, "are made up of petty sacrifices." And if you wish to be beloved among people, know that every person considers his own name the most important and sweetest word in the whole language!