Five Years...

"Good Lord! What has brought me here?!... to this corner so far from the city!... No doubt it has been no little time that I have been walking with no direction..." "Suad" murmured these few broken words and stopped walking... distracted... dazed... thinking... straining herself and all her powers in thought... The signs of that inner strain showed in her face and her movements... now she bit her lips, now she wrung her hands... and now she struck the ground with her feet, as though taking revenge upon it for not answering a question whose solution and answer had defied her...

— "I will not marry now, Suad... I shall not marry before five years have passed... As you see, I am still young... I will not stand as an obstacle in the way of your happiness... You have the right to choose whomever you wish during this time... Do you see how much I love you, Suad?... I sacrifice my happiness for the sake of your happiness..."

And Suad fell silent as she repeated these words... these words that had worn her out and unstrung her resolve... these words that "Usama" had spoken to her this evening, when she met him as usual at the "Switzerland" café to take a cup of tea together... And she remembered how she had fixed her gaze on him then, staring at him to make certain of the truth of what she was hearing... And Usama went on speaking with perfect calm... but she did not listen to what he said after that... She lowered her eyes, for another picture had risen in her imagination, seizing her attention and distracting her from listening to the rest of her companion's talk... That picture showed a young man and a girl sitting in the same place, at the same hour, a month before... The girl was none other than "Suad"... but the young man was not "Usama"; he was "Nabil," that youth madly in love with her... the one who had loved her when she was small and been faithful to her when she was grown... And she had loved him in the days when she was small and he was strong and grown... but afterward she pitied him and turned her mind from him, for he was poor and destitute... Suad remembered those long sittings when "Nabil" would sit with her, pouring out to her what was hidden in his breast and speaking to her with ardor and resolve of his hopes and his mighty ambitions... of the roads to happiness that he was striving, by the labor of his right hand and the sweat of his brow, to open before her... Then she remembered how she used to laugh and mock him secretly... because he was poor... and how could there be any road to happiness then... when she saw no way to it but the door of money... So her family had taught her, and so her society had schooled her... Her father was forever and always repeating in her hearing the saying of the wise man—as he claimed—who says: "He who has a piaster is worth a piaster, and he who has no piaster is worth not a piaster." And her schoolmates would gather round none but the rich, wealthy girl who glittered in her dress... And so she grew up... with the love of money in her blood... and she looked at the companion of her childhood and found him falling short of satisfying her hopes and desires... So she pitied him and grieved for his state... then turned away from his love... And he took her turning away for a kind of coquetry, and bore it with patience and forbearance... And that evening came... and he begged her to accept him as a husband... and her answer was: "I will not marry now, Nabil... I shall not marry before five years have passed... I am still young, as you see... I will not stand as an obstacle in the way of your happiness... Marry whomever you find suitable during this time... Do you see how much I love you?... I sacrifice my happiness for the sake of your happiness"... Yes, they were the very same words that Usama had spoken to her that evening... the very same words she herself had said to Nabil only a month before... when she was certain that she would never become his wife. She had cast upon the days the burden of answering his question, since she refused to wound the feelings of a young man who loved her and had been faithful to her... Had Usama been playing the same part with her that evening?... And Suad began to wring hand against hand, sending her gaze into the far horizon in search of an answer... But nature was still and calm... hushed... receiving the phantoms of the dusk as they came swaying in.

And Suad's rebellious soul grew quiet before nature's dreaming scene... and her alarm subsided a little... and she stood contemplating... And from afar... the breeze carried to her a faint sound, nearer to a whisper than to speech... She strained her ears... and behold, a woman's voice whispering: "I will not marry now, Usama... I am still young, as you see... I shall not marry before five years have passed... I will not stand as an obstacle in your way... Marry whomever you find worthier than I to make you happy"... And Suad was struck dumb... It seemed to her that she was hearing her own voice... or that nature had wished to mock her and had made her hear this imagined voice... But she was brought back to the world of reality... by the approach of two figures walking slowly side by side... She hid behind one of the shrubs... and watched... and saw...

It was Usama... yes, Usama... walking beside her friend "Nadia," the great heiress to whom she had introduced him a month before... And the woman's voice went on: "I sacrifice my happiness for the sake of making you happy... Do you see how much I love you?"...

And it seemed to her that she saw Usama lower his eyes, calling back another picture... the picture of a girl and a young man... in the "Switzerland" café... on the evening of that very day...