Musings

Man must learn to live alone within the walls of his own self, and at the same time to feel the human beings who surround him and to know their needs and their ways.

The most important thing: he must strive to find rest in his being forever alone, and learn to suffer and remain alone.

For love itself has not the power to bind two souls and make them one.

People seek love, and throng after it, only in the desire to escape from their solitary selves.

Yet love only strengthens the barrier that separates a man's soul from his desires.

And a man shall not be counted aware, and fit for the great struggle of being, until he acknowledges this fact.

The greatest bond in creation, and the strongest: friendship.

In a friend one finds one's rest, whether in times of happiness or when calamities fall.

Before him one will not adorn one's words for fear of being misunderstood, nor act a part in his sight and pretend to what one is not.

A friend forgives, and is gentle. He consoles in time of adversity, and whets one's resolve in moments of faltering. And in prosperity, you find him content and at peace, sharing your joy.

The greatest bond in creation, and the strongest: friendship.

*

Tonight I sat contemplating my life.

How did I see my life?

A chain, its links tightly wrought, of fears and cares and hopes.

But I also saw: the moments of my happiness shining and sparkling, and nothing — not even despair — can wipe out their radiance and their gleam.

The moments of my happiness — and how few they are.

I saw the years of my life passing swiftly, swiftly; was I dreaming then, that I felt neither the passage of time nor its worth?

And I grieved over the hours I spent bewailing my lot and cursing the day on which I was born.

What good did that do? And what a child I was then!

How shall I make up for those hours I wasted? By spending my days reading and writing and taking my pleasure in life? But I do all that now.

How then shall I make up for them? And how does one attain happiness?

By doing one's duties? By keeping oneself occupied, body and mind, the whole time through? But do I not do that?

There must be some solution: could it be religion? Or is that a kind of escape?

I am at a loss.