Scenes from the Life of the Western Woman

These are scenes from the life of the Western woman; some of them are entertaining, and some are useful. Here, then, are the questions that readers of the magazine 'Woman's Companion' addressed to their magazine, and the replies they received:

Q: We have two little girls, and my husband wishes God would grant him a boy. Since my husband's sister has a little boy, he has taken to doting on him and giving him his tenderness; his two daughters notice this and tell me that their father loves Michel more than them — what is to be done?

A: I do not think your husband loves his sister's son more than his two daughters. Do not try to wound your husband's feeling for his sister's son, and do not let your daughters notice your displeasure. A father usually loves his daughters dearly and is tender toward them, and your husband's wish to have a boy does not lessen his love for his two daughters. And you can hint to him, with tact, that his two daughters ought to hold the first place in his heart.

Q: My mother has recently been widowed, and it appears she has made up her mind to remain in her own house; but she cannot manage the expenses of her living, and this means that the burden of supporting her will fall upon my husband. I do not doubt that my husband will do all in his power for her sake, but he is responsible for his family and has nothing put aside. We would welcome my mother to come and live in our house, but she refuses — what is to be done?

A: It is natural that your mother should be attached to her old house — but could she not rent out part of it? If she refuses that, then I think the two of you should speak with her frankly about the matter, and ask her to consider what expenses she requires; and tell her gently that you will do everything that brings her happiness, but that your help to her will be limited. I believe that once she begins to think seriously about the future, she will agree to your proposal and join you.

Q: Every Sunday my husband, my two children, and I go to visit my relatives, and my mother-in-law complains that we visit her only rarely; but whenever we do visit her, she requires the two children to sit quietly, while she herself spends the whole time talking of her aches and pains — most of them imaginary, without basis in truth or fact. What is to be done?

A: Your mother-in-law, my dear, does not realize the reason your visits to her are so few. I would call your attention to the necessity of harmony in the family: were I in your place, I would always strive to visit her more often, and I would create in these visits an atmosphere of gaiety and cheer. And besides — do you not see in your mother-in-law's eagerness to see you a compliment to yourself?

Q: I have a daughter of nine who reads books that do not suit her age, and I fear these books will bring her harm — what is to be done?

A: It is truly regrettable that your daughter should read books that do not accord with her years. Why do you not help her choose works she likes that are suited to her? Is there no children's library in your neighborhood? And is there no children's library at the school? The most fitting course is to take counsel on this subject with her teacher.

Q: We shall soon be giving a family party, and I do not know — must I present every guest who arrives to all of the invited company?

A: If the party is a small one, there is no harm in presenting every guest who arrives at your house to all the company; but at large parties the presentation is confined to one or two persons who happen to be near the guest as he enters.

Q: Is it true that one can attain any wish one aspires to, if one concentrates one's thoughts upon it? I have heard that most successful people have reached the success they reached as the inevitable result of their insistence upon achieving the aims they marked out for themselves from the very dawn of their lives, and that they then went on their way certain of attaining their desires.
I burn with longing for the stage; I want

to be an actress, in spite of all the discouragement I meet with from my family. I think of nothing and dream of nothing but the theater — do you think there is any hope of my attaining this wish of mine?

A: There is no doubt that devotion to an idea, or to the achievement of an aim, helps greatly toward realizing that idea or that aim; but devotion alone is not enough unless it is supported by other things as well. To be an actress you must possess great intelligence, enjoy excellent health, have an extraordinary capacity for enduring hardships, and a strong will to stand firm before any failure. Many girls dream of success on the stage, yet they never attain it, because they do not possess the qualifications needed to turn their dreams into tangible realities.

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Q: My husband holds a steady position in a small musical band, and this band works mostly at night, and sometimes in the daytime as well; and so my husband is always away from home. When I called his attention to this, he answered that he does not absent himself from home for his own pleasure but in order to earn more than he earns now, and that I ought not to concern myself with his absence from home so long as the material gains are certain. I believe what my husband says, but I would rather have him at home than any increase in his material income — am I right in thinking so?

A: If your husband works all day long, it is not seemly that he should be away from his home at night as well, or the reverse. You may point this out to him, for the sake of his health, and tell him gently that you consider his companionship better than an increase in his income, and that you two married only in order to be at each other's side; your common interest therefore requires that he cut down his evenings out, even if they are for the sake of earning a livelihood.

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Q: I separated from my husband two years ago, and I admit that I was content with this separation. But my son has told me that the pupils at his school are always asking him about his father, and these questions pain him; and now, for my son's sake, I wish to be reconciled with my husband — what is your view?

A: There is no doubt that an understanding with your husband is exactly the right course; but this understanding will not bring the hoped-for benefit unless you both do all in your power to live together in lasting happiness. If you succeed in that, you will soon discover that there were faults on both your sides which you are able to overcome, if you truly wish it. And remember that your husband's return to his home will have its great effect on the life of your son.