How the Child Is Affected by the Family Atmosphere

Have parents ever remembered that the child is like a thermometer, reflecting whatever joy or sorrow they feel?! And yet how often they cast his feelings aside, denying how deeply he is affected by the family atmosphere, not knowing that his inner life is touched by sadness, fear, love, and the rest, even before he understands the language of speech? And since we are confident that the deaf and dumb possess a sense unique of its kind, the theory that the child senses the family atmosphere is not far from the truth.

The child looks at his parents as if they were a picture of his own self, but on a wider scale. He comes to know life through them, and is affected by whatever affects them. To grasp this truth makes parents more guarded in their conduct with their children, and more careful to avoid idle chatter and the criticizing of people.

We do not truly know the value of the child's sense of the family atmosphere until we compare the personalities of two children: the first brought up in an atmosphere full of understanding and cheerfulness, the other brought up in an atmosphere contrary to that. The child who grows up in surroundings brimming with family disputes will have a contradictory personality and an uneasy inner life, because he will have believed that his parents were understanding and loving of one another. And when he is taken by surprise by some disagreement or quarrel between them that clouds the family atmosphere, he falls into perplexity, for he had never reckoned on this contradiction. This perplexity of mind draws down upon his inner life evils whose consequences are not to be praised. That is why specialists in the rearing of children impress upon parents that they must take care to preserve their understanding with one another, in the service of their children's happiness...