Fear in Children

No mother has ever complained of the problems of upbringing without the problem of fear standing at their head...
And if fear is the child of ignorance, then it withers away as the child's horizon and understanding widen.

If you tried, Madam, to take in all the causes that lead to fear in your child, the effort would wear you out, for they are many. The chief of them are surprises, whatever is unfamiliar to the child, and his bodily weakness. Nor should it slip the mind that imitation holds a prominent place in teaching a child fear — as when he borrows frightening tales in which the savagery of beasts of prey takes bodily shape, and the like of what fills the imaginations of most of the maidservants in our households.

The critical period in a child's life is that between his third and fifth years, when he imagines frightening things that have never once crossed his path — they are a fabric of his own making, the embroidery of his imagination. A pause over this truth, Madam, will show you the secret of your child's dread of going to his bed alone. To spread reassurance through his soul, you would do well to stay beside him a little in his bed until he recovers his courage and gives up his desolate imaginings.

What stirs terror in the child's heart, too, is strange visitors. Why must they pull him toward them the moment they enter his house, professing thereby their overflowing love for him? Better that they talk with his parents and not approach the child except when he takes to them and draws near of his own accord.

These, Madam, are some of the counsels that wisdom repeats in your ears for lightening fear in your child, or uprooting it:

1 - Beware of mocking his fear.

2 - Widen his understanding and help him toward more experiences.

3 - Be the object of his trust, and give him room to lift the veil from whatever feeling of fear besets him; how greatly it delights him to discuss this subject with you.

4 - Strike frightening from the means by which you discipline him.

5 - Beware of threatening him continually.

Would that we realized that fear is an emotion that besets every human creature, though in varying degrees. Some conquer it before it takes possession of them; others, alas, are accompanied by it all their lives — and, upon my life, who is more deserving of pity than these!!