The Feeling of Inferiority..

How does it arise and take root in us? And how do we overcome and conquer it?? An absorbing scientific study which every reader, man and woman, should read and ponder...

The "feeling of inferiority" is counted among the most important subjects of "psychology" and the nearest of them to our daily life.. So said Alfred Adler, a psychologist who spent his life treating complicated.. obscure problems..

A great number of human beings suffer because of the "feeling of inferiority," and in every soul there is some complex; it may carry a person to extremes and paralyze his movement; or it may stop at a point that no one notices...

Who among us has not pictured himself more successful than he really is?.. And who has not wished he were surpassingly intelligent, handsome of face, strong of build, and rich, all at once?..

The inferiority complex begins with our comparing ourselves to those who surpass us; and though its results appear in adulthood, its roots go back to childhood, for the tender-limbed child depends wholly upon his parents' arms and is very often compelled to submit to things imposed upon him by force... By nature the child moves forward to prove his existence and find a place for himself upon this globe.. but many things sometimes stand in his way and obstruct the course of his life..

Here is Jamil... a shy young man who stammers in his speech, hesitant in his actions, forever fearing a fall.. His father was a motorcar driver for a wealthy family, and because he was a man of good conduct, they sent Jamil with their children to the same school. Jamil's family were exceedingly pleased at this, and so was the boy — for he is intelligent, and up to the level of his class.. But the reality became plain after a while: Jamil could not carry on his studies in this milieu; his companions discovered the weakness of his material and social condition and knew that he could not pay the costs of the parties and occasions they held.. At first he became grasping and unruly, wishing he might hurt others... Before long the feeling of instability deepened further; Jamil lost what remained of his self-confidence, and his personality fell apart.. It became necessary to move him to another institute.. Then the parents sought the help of a psychiatrist to improve their son's condition and restore his confidence in himself.. He grew better, and his tongue was loosened..

Even if his speech did not become natural, still his feeling improved when he joined a club that gathered many others like him..

It is natural that everyone who feels the inferiority complex should look for an easy way out to escape through, avoiding everything that might soften the sharpness of his feeling and restore his self-confidence; but "Demosthenes," the famous Greek orator, did the opposite.. He stammered in his speech, so he took it upon himself to practice speaking with his mouth full of pebbles, and he succeeded in conquering the stubborn complex..

Layla was born with a crooked leg... Naturally her companions noticed the strange shoe she wore, and her gait aroused the curiosity of her schoolmates.. This drove her away from the playing field and planted a painful complex in her soul..

Her family were wise: they chose for her to join the swimming club, where all receive equal treatment, and so Layla soon became one of the swimming stars among the members of her club.. This raised her morale to a great degree..

The influences that pass through a child's life are reflected upon his polished soul and imprinted in its depths.. The field of comparison is fertile and vast, and among the common dangers in education, to which parents and educators pay no heed, is that drawing of preferences which drives the sensitive child into a narrow corner of shrinking and solitude..

It happened that a family had two boys, one of them intelligent and beloved by those around him, while his brother, who was older, had neither his measure of intelligence nor his good looks.. The tongues of family and friends never ceased comparing the two.. so the little one puffed up while the other shrank into himself in despair. And one day something happened that no one had reckoned with: the little child took his first crawling steps before the family's beaming eyes and their encouraging, admiring smiles.. The mother happened to ask her elder son to go to the next room and fetch her something.. and to her astonishment, he went crawling like his little brother.. And who is to blame?.. Everyone had marveled when they watched his brother crawl in this fashion, and he thought of making the same move, since it had stirred their interest and drawn their eyes.. The parents understood the mistake and worked to set it right..

The complex also grows if the child feels himself cast out; and I shall never forget the tragedy of a man of forty who told me of a conversation that took place between him and his father thirty years before, in which the father said: "Your mother and I did not want you to live... Your coming into the world was an accident."

The young man's mind never healed from that shock: he entered life weighed down with the feeling of the outcast and the sense of inferiority; he is a failure in his work, without a goal.. and he never once attained confidence in himself..

Educators must remember one thing: to give the child love, affection, safety, and stability; in so doing, they give him the greatest capital for a happy.. settled life..