Let Your Children Play

Place in their hands the toys that awaken and strengthen their senses

The psychologist William Stern said of a little girl not yet past her fourth year: "Play takes possession of Hilda exactly as inspiration takes possession of the poet at the hour when the idea crystallizes and its birth draws near." There is no exaggeration whatever in this saying, for play in the age of childhood is not, as occurs to the minds of many parents, merely for amusement, but for discovering the secrets of the outside world, which is still unknown — so that this world becomes a touchstone for their powers and their skill in confronting it, whetting their minds and engaging their imagination. The toy that a mother buys for her child is nothing but an instrument that allows him to measure himself against what surrounds him, increasing his experience and teaching him mastery over things as they are in their natural size. Its value lies not in its price but in how far it suits the child's age: what suits him in the first year, for example, differs entirely from what suits him in the fourth or the sixth.

After the fifth month the infant becomes able to grasp things, and the sense of touch becomes his means of contact with what is around him. At such an age, therefore, the mother must strengthen this sense with toys of rubber, for instance, or with cubes of plastic that he can feel without their hurting him — these latter allow him to become acquainted with the shapes and forms of things. The sense of sight, for its part, is exercised by means of the balls and toys that are hung above the crib in loud colors such as red, yellow, and orange, since the child at this early age is unable to distinguish any but this kind of colors — contrary to what parents believe when they resort to pale colors like pink and sky blue.

At the beginning of the second year the journeys around the room begin: the child takes his first tottering steps, and the falls follow them. In this stage the mother must help her child in his arduous effort by strengthening the muscles of his back and legs, letting him try to climb the steps of the stairs. The choice of toys at this age rests on the basis of helping him in his attempts at getting about: the mother does well to buy him the push-table or the moving bear and the large cubes to which he can resort in crossing the room without leaning on the wall. It is preferable that all the toys be of large size, since a child of such an age uses only the basic muscles, which do not allow him, for example, to grasp a small ball with the same ease with which he takes into his hands a large boat or a large ball.

After the second year and up to the fourth, the child has passed beyond the era of getting about, or of physical effort, and his personality begins to crystallize, with the whims and caprices that accompany it. The tricycle at such an age allows him to undertake adventures around the house that satisfy his changeable imagination, which settles on nothing. The wise mother is she who does not oppose these whims, trying to curb them or to impose on her child any plan for controlling his activity. The child feels a great happiness when he is allowed to improvise, and this is what explains his turning away,

more often than not, from coloring the pictures set before him, for to him these pictures reach the limit of perfection, and a feeling of inadequacy toward them takes hold of him — which, as we have said, restricts his activity and leaves in his soul a kind of vexation. The modeling paste that the child can crush into whatever shape he wishes, for example, is far better for him than the cubes with which he builds houses according to a set plan.

The conclusion is that it is desirable to set apart for the child a corner of his own in which he may carry on whatever games and works he wishes without any objection — except, of course, to those from which harm results. The first to benefit from this arrangement is the mother herself, who is then assured about the contents of her house, for it is rare that a child does harmful things when he is allowed to express freely all that surges within his soul and to realize every idea that passes through his imagination.

At six, imitation of the parents prevails among children, regardless of sex. Dr. Hotzer, one of the famous specialists in psychological medicine in Austria, made an experiment on forty boys and girls to judge how they would behave in the game of "father and mother." The result was that all the girls asked to play the role of the mother — and the amusing thing is that the majority of the boys asked to play the same role! Dr. Hotzer traced this to the child's constant presence, all day long, with the mother, while the father is out of the house at his work — and not, as may occur to the minds of some parents, to a deficiency in their children's manliness; for no sooner does the child emerge from this period than the signs of manliness begin to appear.

After seven, it is not unlikely that the parents will face requests that could never cross the mind — the microscope, for instance, or other toys of its rank — the sort of thing that would never have occurred to the father's mind at such an age. The explanation of this is that the method of upbringing is no longer the same as that on which the father was reared: whereas the latter grew up, for the most part, far from his family's gatherings, we see that the child of our day attends many of the parents' discussions at mealtimes, listens to the radio, watches the films made for children, and other things that were not within reach or permitted to his father. And as the method of upbringing has developed and the child's horizons have widened, his demands have developed and increased.

It is often observed that parents are perplexed about how to meet the child's requests and to decide what should be bought on an occasion: a toy, or a useful gift. Any decision taken in this matter must have as its touchstone the joy that will result from it for the child, and nothing else, before any other consideration — even the economic one. Hence the child's wants must be felt out, to determine what he desires — not to impose on him a shirt, for instance, because the shirt is more useful, or because he needs it more than a ball that would fill him with joy. This does not mean that the father's shoulders should be burdened for the sake of pleasing the child; rather, it is advisable that this observation be taken into account, to ward off the child's disappointment when the parents had intended exactly the opposite.

It is better to vary the toys as much as possible: for the price of one toy of exorbitant cost, an assortment of different toys can be bought that satisfies all the demands of the child's growing personality and his whims — among them those that satisfy his affections, like the doll and the bear; those that satisfy his activity, like the hoop and the tricycle; and those that engage his imagination, like the cubes and the Meccano. Then the child may be left to his toys, to spend with them as much time as he pleases.

Play is the school of his joyful activity — the lazy are simply persons who were deprived of it in their childhood — and it is a release for the child's personality, with its influence in forming a balanced personality free of all shrinking.

So, madam, let your children play to their heart's content.