Women's Problems

Women's Problems

In this monthly corner, The Woman's Voice offers the best solutions to the beauty, health, social, and emotional problems that our women and girls suffer.

Dear reader: your magazine welcomes every question that comes within this field, and refers whatever defies solution to those with special competence. Write to us at: Agrippa Street — P.O. Box 3940 — Beirut.

Q — I am a student, sixteen years old. My height is 150 cm and my weight 52 kilograms. What is the treatment to reduce my weight so that I become moderately plump?

H. S., Broummana

A — In light of the figures you mention, I see no pressing need to reduce your weight. The agreed measure — the normal weight relative to height — is bounded by the number of centimeters over one hundred. Since your height is 150 cm, your natural weight should stand at around fifty kilos. You are 52, and that is no great excess, especially since you are sixteen, which is the age of growth; hence there is no need to prescribe any "treatment," as you put it. But if you have a disposition to plumpness, cut down your intake of starchy and fatty foods.

Q — I am a young woman of twenty. I suffer from acne and blackheads together on my face; what is the treatment for them?

M. T., Beirut

A — Acne and blackheads spring from a single source, traceable to excessive oily secretions. Before treatment, you must cut down on fatty foods and foods cooked in Hama samn, on chocolate, ice cream, and nuts of every kind, and take more vegetables and fruit — that on the side of health precaution. As for treatment: squeeze out the blackheads with your fingertips after disinfecting them with alcohol, applying compresses of lukewarm water to ease their extraction; then anoint your face twice a day — after washing it well with lukewarm water and soap and drying it — with a solution composed of equal quantities of white spirit, acetone, and ether. Have the pharmacist prepare this solution for you, and apply it away from any flame, for some of these substances catch fire quickly.

Q — I am a married woman with a six-year-old child, and it troubles my mind that his saliva runs from his mouth during sleep. What is the way to cure him?

B. B., Sidon

A — The running of saliva, or "drooling," from the mouth during sleep has several causes. They are most often local, such as irritation or congestion of the gums owing to the coming through of molars or teeth. The cause of the mouth's falling open during sleep may also be an adenoid growth blocking the passage of breath through his nose. Some doctors believe that the presence of worms in his intestines may be another cause of this condition. Its removal depends on discovering the cause and having it treated by specialist physicians. Take your son first to the dentist, then have his stool examined at the laboratory, and treat him on that basis.

Q — I have a son of thirteen, but his body is no taller or bigger than a seven-year-old's, and this abnormal state worries me. Is there a treatment?

T. R., Latakia

A — I am sorry, my dear questioner, that my help to you is limited. All I can sincerely advise you is to consult a physician who specializes in the pituitary glands, for it is not natural for your son to be of this size, and he may need the hormones of these glands to resume his growth. It is well to hurry to the doctor while he is at this age, especially if there are people of small stature in your family, for this condition is hereditary.

Q — I am a married woman with four children. I suffer from varices in my legs and feet; is there a treatment for this troublesome ailment?

S. T., Beirut

A — Varices, called "varicose-vein disease," are a lengthy medical subject that belongs to the doctor. All I can help you with is to offer some counsels. Raise your legs when you sleep, at night or by day, by placing a pillow under the mattress so that the feet lie higher than the hips. You may also use crepe bandages; ask the pharmacist to give them to you and to inform you how they are used.

Women's Problems

Q — I am a girl of twenty, which is the fitting time to begin using nourishing creams for the skin. What cream do you advise me to use?

S., Beirut

A — And who told you, my dear questioner, that the face of a girl of twenty needs nourishers? The truth is that the longer a girl delays using creams, the longer she keeps her glow and her freshness. Beware of turning, before thirty, to these preparations, which for the most part contain toxic substances that work toward early wrinkling.

Q — I am a young woman troubled by my dry, frizzy hair. I had it straightened last year at the hairdresser's, and before long it fell out. It has now grown long and needs dressing again, and I fear it will suffer what it suffered last year. What shall I do? And what shampoo should I use to wash it?

R. T., Aley

A — It is quite plausible that the preparation the hairdresser used to straighten your hair is what caused its falling out, and so I do not advise you at all to repeat the attempt. What I think is that you should accustom yourself to treating your hair with a stiff brush every evening and every morning, for this operation softens the hair and stimulates the roots of the follicles to secrete freely a substance that lends the hair softness and luster.

As for shampoo, I do not know why we all prefer it to soap. I personally see nothing better than the local baladi soap containing pure olive oil; try it, my dear, and watch for improved results.

Q — Madam, I want to know why a young man loves long hair and hates short hair?...

And I want also to know why a young man presses a girl's hand when he greets her?... Urgent, if you please, and my thanks to you.

Juliette A., Beirut

A — Your little urgent request, my dear, is exceedingly simple.

1 — Young men's love of long hair goes back to an inward inclination in their souls toward love of femininity in woman. Long hair lends a womanly beauty to a woman's countenance.

2 — The young man's habit of pressing a girl's hand is spontaneous. In every young man there is an instinctive longing to touch the girl and to show his inclination toward her, and so he finds himself driven, without intending it, to this silent declaration. As for the deliberate pressing by certain young men on the hand of a woman or a girl — any woman of the moment — that is impudence and want of taste.

A final remark: your questions are reasonable and I have answered them. Will you tell me, then, why your "urgency" to know the answer!

Q — I am a young woman fond of reading, of listening to the radio stations, and of watching the cinema; but what spoils my life is what befalls me while reading, or while following a film. I merge with the heroes of the story and am stirred so violently that I forget myself and imagine I am living with them, with no existence of my own at home. Afterward a pain comes over my chest by turns, a turmoil in my spirit, a pounding in my heart, and I am forced to leave the book, or shut off the radio, or quit the cinema hall, and I surrender to a fit of bitter weeping. What is the way to be cured of this condition?

A. R., Marjayoun

A — It appears, my dear questioner, that you are of the sensitive, finely-strung emotional type, and the worst thing you can do in a condition like yours is to give the self its full range in weeping or in melancholy, or in suppression and brooding [...]

What I see is that there is in your life some lack, some complaint of unfulfillment; a finely-strung nature, joined to this lack, produces the reaction you have described. The first step in treatment is to search for the cause of the unfulfillment or the lack. Try, when you feel dejection, to turn to yourself and search with it for the inward cause, and do not allow this dejection free rein to become melancholy and tears; rather turn the current of your thoughts to some other activity... to a walk that opens the chest, or to a cheering, restful companion, for instance...

Age, too, has its effect: as you advance in years your emotions will become more mature and less exhausting. There is also the possibility of an inclination in you toward creating something, such as writing, music, or drawing; if this feeling presses upon you, answer it with ease and without suppression or withdrawal into yourself, which only deepens the melancholy and the distress and torment it drags along.

Try by yourself to overcome the first factors that led to this condition, and avoid reading exciting, nerve-stirring stories until you are able to control your emotions and take hold of their reins.

I am a girl of twenty, engaged to a young man I love, in complete accord between us. But he hates my using lipstick, and my adorning myself with it vexes him. What shall I do to ward off his anger and the cooling of his love, knowing that I am very fond of adorning myself with this rouge?

Diya' S., Beirut

A — The matter is a matter of taste, and I know many men who, like your fiancé, do not like their women to adorn themselves with lipstick. Some of them prefer natural beauty in a woman or a girl. Another group has its own particular views of the female; they are, for the most part, fanatical.

Nor should we forget certain girls who so overdo the daubing of their lips with rouge as to reach the point of disgust... And something else worth mentioning: some lips have a special charm that agrees with the features of the face when untouched by rouge. If lipstick is used in such a case, the lips stand out in a way that spoils the harmony of the face with the mouth.

Try to discover for yourself the reasons that make your fiancé trouble you over so simple a matter... And there is no harm in consulting one of the beauty houses, for your particular problem may have a technical cause you have not noticed.

Women's Problems

Q — What shall I do, Madam? My problem is that there is a young man next door to our house who loves me greatly and wants to marry me, but I absolutely do not want him. What shall I do...? Help me.

Ninette Q., Chiyah

A — The matter is very simple... Be sober in your conduct before this young man, and make no motions or maneuvers of a kind to encourage him to persist in his infatuation with your love... Be frank with your family about the subject — better still, tell your mother of the matter, so that if anything should appear in the said young man harmful to your interest and your reputation, your mother would be fully informed of all that goes on. Then, if there are ordinary relations between you and this young man, seize the fitting opportunity and tell him frankly that you appreciate his feeling and respect his emotions, but that you are unable to accept his offer of marriage — and offer him acceptable excuses. If you are under twenty and still in your days of study, tell him that you aspire to continue your studies and will not think of marriage, at the present time at least. And if you have finished your studies and turned to public life and work, or to the affairs of the house while awaiting your destined portion, then tell him that marriage must be joined to compatibility of the spouses and of inclinations and complete harmony between the two parties... and that you do not find in yourself a whole-hearted inclination to be joined to him. Do not forget to ask him to keep away from you and look for another girl. And I charge you not to feed his feeling, nor to fall to criticizing his person; on the contrary, show your esteem for him with sobriety and without exaggeration.

Q — I love him and he loves me, and hardly had several months passed over this love of ours when I fell out with him, because I saw him with a strange girl standing with him on the balcony of his house. No sooner did I see him in that state than my head began to spin and a violent headache seized me. I stayed three days without seeing him. What shall I do, Madam? Shall I leave him to his way, or open the subject with him?

S. B., Hazmieh

A — Come back to your senses, forget what you saw, and look for an excuse with which to explain your absence from your said friend. You have the right, my dear, to be angered at seeing your friend with another girl, but you must not rush to judge by appearances before making sure of the kind of relation binding this friend of yours to that strange girl. Moreover, you did not mention whether this friend of yours loves you with the intention of marrying you. This is a very important point, for many young men befriend more than one girl, their relations going no further than ordinary friendship, most of which ends in the choice of the fitting companion for a virtuous married life. So I advise you first to learn your friend's intentions, and to make sure that he is in earnest in his attachment.

Q — I am a wretched woman, for my husband loves another over me. Although I have no tangible proofs against him, I live in an inferno of killing doubts, and I keep asking myself, whenever he leaves the house or is late in returning: where can he be, and with whom? What is the way to regain my place with him?

S. M., Sin el-Fil

A — I shall not strengthen your weapon against your husband, especially as you are not sure your accusations are sound; most likely it is those doubts you describe that weave for you imaginary tales and happenings without any foundation.

And supposing that your husband is betraying you, I shall ask you to go back to yourself and search for the reason for which your husband turned from you to another. Most likely there are faults in you that drove him away; try to mend your faults and return to what you were on the day he loved you and chose you as his life's companion. Win him with kindness and conciliation, not with nagging, blame, and too much talk, which are among the greatest threats to a happy married life.

The man who loves another over his wife is only searching for what he wants and desires in a woman, and you know his inclinations better than anyone, for you are the nearest of all people to him. Be yourself the one he loves and desires, and you will cut off his road to seeking another.