My Advice If You Wish to Marry

The deepest desire in the soul of every girl is to obtain a suitable husband, and rarely does anyone depart from this general rule. It is human nature that gives girls this positive direction — a direction that often takes on a negative appearance, so that girls declare that they do not wish to marry, and proclaim at every turn their hatred of men... The psychologists pay these appearances no great regard, and affirm that they run counter to the desires for which the subconscious mind yearns...

What, one wonders, brings a woman to disown this desire — the loveliest thing her soul hovers about, and the thing that most constantly occupies her mind? Is it the pride in woman that sets her in this negative posture, if only in words — and then, between one night and the next morning, we find her become a sweetheart and a wife: her dreams come true, all her earlier declarations evaporate, and she forgets that once upon a time she used to claim that she loathed marriage, and loathed men!

Why does a woman put on this artificial mask, when she realizes the importance of marriage — that it is an impregnable shield protecting her in all walks of life — and when she feels, too, that her life without a husband is incomplete, indeed empty? That is why she is forever striving to fill this emptiness and complete this lack.

Yet in spite of this unceasing effort, wherever we go we find many, many girls still waiting... The years pass slowly, and most girls remain girls — often they become spinsters — while the men stay just as they are... There is much in this present state of things that is unnatural, and every girl can change her own position in it with a little tact and a little intelligence and knowledge.

In the old days, when a girl reached marriageable age she kept to her house, so that it might be said of her that she was chaste and modest, and she settled down to wait for the young man of her dreams to knock at her father's door, asking for her hand, displaying more than the qualities he actually possessed, in order to find favor in the father's eye and in the girl's.

So our mothers married, and so our mothers want us to marry — not knowing that this age is not their age, that minds have changed, and that this change calls for a change in

the ways of marriage!

You may, Miss, be one of the sheltered daughters of the house, graced with many fine qualities, high breeding, and beauty. You may also have your share of vanity, and rate yourself above what you are... In any case, if you wish success in finding a husband to suit you, you must acquaint yourself with the truths and the secrets this age demands — so listen!

We know many girls who married excellent young men, while others far better than they still remain in deprivation and loneliness. This fact often puzzles us! But married girls rarely tell of the means they used to win their men! And the reasons remain a riddle!

It is entirely natural for girls to incline to the company of men, and there is no fault in that. When you are in the company of a well-bred young man, and feel that you like him to some degree, be gentle and gracious, show your interest in him, and listen to his talk with all attention, for that raises you in his eye.

And your outward appearance — every aspect of it — must be cared for. It is not enough for the dress to be pretty and clean; cleanliness must extend to your hair, your neck, and your whole body. Many a young man has left his girl because she took too little care over her cleanliness or the neatness of her dress. So remember this always!

And you would do well to know, Miss, that men generally incline to dark

colors; black, most of the time, is preferred by them above all others. So take care to keep a black dress for special occasions, for it is nearer to his taste than the gay colors...

Know, too, that men detest shoes with high heels, which rarely give girls any comfort and hinder them from walking, so that the young man is always obliged to keep a car — and there is some extravagance in that. And the shoe without any heel is likewise inelegant; so let your shoe be moderate and comfortable, that you may always be ready to walk.

And now consult your mirror, and consult your friends: are you fat, or excessively slight? Men love neither fat girls nor skeletons covered with skin. The best of things is the middle way, and the best of figures is one that is full, with a touch of that roundness which is the sign of youth and health.

And when you sit before your mirror to do your beautifying, beware of overdoing anything — too much rouge on the cheeks, or shadow around the eyes, or dyeing the hair in gaudy colors that catch the eye. Try to appear natural and simple, like most beautiful girls; for men are far from respecting the girl who overdoes her adornment in the attempt to draw all eyes to herself.

And when you have finished attending to your outward appearance, cast a glance at your inward one. Keep yourself informed on matters of world politics, and on something of good books and the arts and music; for the modern man prefers a girl who is aware and well-read, and does not want her ignorant, living within her own little circle and senseless of what goes on around her!

Among the means by which you can make yourself known is the giving of small parties, to which you invite a select company of elegant girls and excellent young men; and in the atmosphere of your own home your good qualities appear: your cleanliness, your taste, your skill in cooking, and so on... and this is the best advertisement for you!

Then there are the clubs and the offices frequented by young men, which may prove the road to your meeting the youth of your dreams.

Show your interest in the things that interest him, for this is among what brings him nearer to you... And beware of talking about your triumphs in love, and about your admirers, for men do not love that kind of girl; and if you are clever and attractive, the man will know of his own accord your standing among the sons of his sex...

And when you are in his company, pay no attention to anyone else; do not overdo drinking or smoking; be gracious — and there is no harm if you lavish on him a little of your tenderness.

And once he begins to see you as someone great in his eye, and shows a desire to see you, he will without fail ask for your hand — and you will have succeeded in your mission, and your efforts will not have gone to waste!

We live in a practical age, and we must be practical if we wish to succeed!