Ask Whatever You Wish — Is Too Much Love Good for the Child or Harmful to Him?

(Is too much love good for the child or harmful to him?)

The child needs love as the fruit needs the light of the sun and its warmth. But sometimes our love for our children runs to extreme and wayward paths, and becomes harmful rather than helpful. Parental love may be divided into three kinds: conscious love, dutiful love, and killing love. Naturally the first of these — the love by which matters proceed with good sense and understanding — is what we intend in this study.

Now read the following questions, and decide which of the answers you would use when your child puts them to you. On page ... you will find the correct answers that ought to be used.

The child: Oh, I hate you! (Here the child is showing a spirit of hostility.)

The mother: (1) I suppose you are worked up because I stopped you from playing with the broken glass. Take it easy, and come, let us play together.
(2) How dare you say such a thing to your mother?
(3) It never crossed my mind that my son could think of hating his mother! One day, when I am gone from you, you will be sorry.

The child: I don't want to eat the spinach. (The food problem.)

The mother: (1) There is no time for fooling now. You must eat everything on the plate before you.
(2) Very well — eat as much as you can manage, and we shall see how "clever" you are.
(3) Please take just one spoonful for my sake.

The child: Can I marry you when I grow up to be a young man? (The instinct of possession and monopoly.)

The mother: (1) Certainly not! What are these ideas? You had better not let your father hear you!
(2) Oh, my darling, what a lovely idea! You can stay with me as long as you wish, and each of us will take care of the other.
(3) You cannot, my dear. One day you will take a beautiful girl to be your wife, yours alone, and you will love her more than you love me.

The mother: (after being kept from her talk for some time. The mother in a moment of weakness.)
(1) Get out of the room; I have borne with you as long as I can. You have worn me out.
(2) Come back. We must never quarrel. You are everything to me.
(3) Go along, my soul, and play somewhere else. I am very tired.

The child: I am thinking of not going to Rafiq's tonight. (The child is afraid.)

The mother: (1) You are quite right. It is a deadly darkness. Let us stay at home together.
(2) Rafiq's family will answer. Let us bring the electric light, and I shall go with you myself.
(3) What? Are you afraid of the dark? You ought to go to Rafiq's this minute. I am almost ashamed of you!

The child: I am sick. (The child's illness.)

The mother: (1) How many times have I warned you against leaving the house without your woolen jacket?
(2) Very well. Come to bed while I fetch the thermometer.
(3) Good heavens! It was not right for you to play with the big boys; you are not strong yet.

Note: The Woman's Voice requests every reader who wishes to make use of this section to write on the envelope "Ask Whatever You Wish section" beside the magazine's address.

(See the answers on page 43.)

The child shows a spirit of hostility .......... (1)
The food problem .......... (2)
The instinct of possession and monopoly .......... (3)
The mother in a moment of weakness .......... (3)
The child is afraid .......... (2)
The child's illness .......... (2)