Rules of Etiquette

Many of us are seized with a certain confusion when we find ourselves in some gathering: perplexity takes hold of us, and we do not know how to behave in this situation or that. For this reason we present to you, gracious Madam, some modern rules of etiquette which will serve to increase and broaden your knowledge and experience in social matters, and consequently to strengthen your confidence in yourself and remove you from that atmosphere of shyness and confusion which overcomes many of us, and especially our growing girls. I shall set these rules down in the form of question and answer:

1 — If you are somewhere in your hat and gloves and you meet a friend, do you take off your gloves before greeting him, or do you shake hands with your gloves on, or do you apologize for having greeted him in gloves?

Answer — Do not take off your gloves, and do not apologize for wearing them while shaking hands. The well-bred lady keeps her gloves on her hands wherever she may be, until she is settled in her seat — on her visit, or at the cinema, or in the restaurant; then she removes her gloves unhurriedly and puts them in a place safe from loss.

2 — If you are a guest at a friend's house for the weekend, do you sit back and wait for your hostess to serve you? Or do you help her with the affairs of the house?

Answer — When you accept an invitation from a friend or a relative to spend the weekend, ceremony between you is set aside, and so you must be natural in your behavior in the house and not interfere in the family's private affairs. Good taste requires, however, if your friend is without a maid, that you assist her somewhat — in the kitchen, for example, and in tidying your bedroom. But beware of burdening her by inviting your own friends to her house.

3 — If someone is introduced to you and his name does not come through clearly, what do you do? Do you inquire about the name, admitting that you did not hear it well; or do you pass the matter over, avoiding pronouncing his name; or do you call him by the name you fancied you heard, however far it may be from the correct one?

Answer: It is no shame to inquire about the name; for every person to whom you are introduced expects you to give his name correctly when the two of you meet a second time, and your carelessness about remembering his name leaves in him a bad impression of you and of your nature — both of which can be avoided by resorting to asking that the name be made clear, and writing it down if possible, out of care to remember it when the need arises.

4 — If you are lunching or dining in a restaurant, and your fork or your knife falls to the floor, do you hasten to pick it up and place it at the edge of the table, or do you leave it on the floor and ask the "garçon" to bring another?

Answer — When one of the table silver falls from you — a knife or a fork or

a spoon — beware of showing any concern, or of lifting it from the floor. Calmly and composedly, ask the "garçon" to bring another; it is he who afterwards picks it up from the floor.

5 — If you suddenly feel, while you are eating, that there is a fishbone or a bone or a small stone in your mouth, do you cover your mouth with the napkin while you remove this thing from your mouth, or do you use your fingertips without casting a glance at it?

Answer — The best way to extract the bone or the fishbone from the mouth is by means of your fingertips, and without fuss; then you place it at the edge of your plate without any remark — and there is no need whatever to cover your mouth with the napkin.

These, my gracious reader, are some of the rules in the fundamentals of etiquette, or good manners, and we shall prepare a second set for you at another time.