Stubbornness in Children

Stubbornness is a serious educational problem to which every child is exposed, especially between the second and fifth years of his life. Educators, whatever their schools of thought, agree that this problem, despite the complications it entails, is considered natural and usually passes with the close of early childhood. Once parents have understood this, they have only to take a forgiving attitude toward their children's stubbornness.

It is easier for a child to be negative in his answers than to be positive, because the word "no" is easier to pronounce than the word "yes." Here is an example to support the soundness of this theory. A lady asked her three-year-old daughter whether she wanted to accompany her on an outing; the girl answered her at once, "No," then trotted off to her room to put on her coat, and was in the front rank of those setting out on the outing. This incident is a model of many incidents proving that the child does not intend stubbornness in the sense in which we understand it. Very often his stubbornness shows itself in not complying with some request because he does not know the purpose behind the request. Here is a lady who tried in vain to keep her child from going near the heating stove — and only because he did not know the danger that comes of touching it.

Stubbornness takes on many colors: among them affectation, disobedience, the child's screaming and the grinding of his teeth, his freezing on the spot, and his throwing himself on the floor to get his way, and the like.

Here, in brief, are the agreed-upon causes of stubbornness:

1 - A direct protest against the authority imposed upon the child.

2 - An indirect protest against whatever things there may be that trouble the serenity of his atmosphere.

3 - A protest against the multiplicity of demands directed at him.

4 - A reaction to a pent-up feeling he harbors, arising from not feeling his parents' love and not feeling secure — a theory in which "Morgan" believed and which he embraced.

5 - His bodily weakness.

There is no doubt that all parents aim to strengthen their child's personality; by treating the problem of his stubbornness with a treatment built on an understanding of his psychology, and by taking a forgiving attitude toward his behavior, they will have achieved an ample share of their aim.