Where You Stand with Your Boss

Are you on good terms with your boss?

Answer honestly, and you will learn more about your job in the future.

'Why don't you improve your relations with your boss?' This question was put to working people of various levels, from simple employees to directors of companies and factories and the like, and here are some of their answers:

'My employer does not entirely understand me.'

'His state of nerves is tiresome.'

'He is truly a tyrant.'

'My boss does not think of me as a human being, his equal in capacity and in rights.'

'He likes to crush other people's pride.'

And this answer stood apart from the rest: 'He is not as serious about the work as I am.' If we consider these answers we find a common feature among them: the employer is always the one at fault.

We may blame the employee for this friction that breeds conflict and difference of opinion, but we cannot always lay the fault on his shoulders.

Let us take your problem with your employer. There is clear proof that complete agreement between employer and employee can never come about; and the problem is not that, but rather the fear of harm that may result in the future. These questions will help you improve your relations with your employer; read them carefully, then try to find the shortest road to a positive result.

1 — One of your colleagues takes an hour off to buy what she needs, and a week later you make the same request, and he does not grant it; so you address to him remarks such as these:

(a) 'Perhaps my luck will be better next time.'

(b) 'Very well, sir.'

(c) 'You favor one over another, and that is not right.'

(d) 'Did you not once agree to a request like this?'

(e) You say to yourself: 'If I were the boss, I would deal justly, without favoritism.'

2 — You propose an idea that has occurred to you for improving the work, and your employer does not approve it, and your reaction shows itself thus:

(a) 'I think you are wrong to reject this idea.'

(b) To yourself: 'He does not understand choice ideas.'

(c) 'Yes,' and you wait for a chance when his mood is better.

(d) 'Very well,' and you withdraw, feeling your powers scattered, and you do not try again.

(e) 'Who knows — you may be right.'

3 — Your boss criticizes the result of your work, and your reaction is:

(a) You do not utter a word, but you say to yourself that he does not understand and does not notice the fine care in your work.

(b) 'What exactly is my mistake?'

(c) 'I will try to improve that in the future.'

(d) You say to him: 'If you were in my place, you would change your mind.'

(e) 'Yes, sir,' you answer him, deliberately letting him notice the sarcasm in your tone.

4 — You ask your employer to raise your salary, and he promises to look into the matter; weeks pass without your getting an answer, and you remind him and he pays no attention.

(a) You let the matter drop, because you are sure he will not listen to you.

(b) This is the last arrow, and you step forward to remind him of it once more.

(c) You send him a list of the reasons that led you to raise the matter, and ask him to fix a time for it.

(d) Though you burn with anger at his slowness, you wait for the outcome.

(e) You reflect that his many affairs sometimes make him forget the requests of others.

5 — You make a slight mistake, and you are dismissed from your job. You are at fault, yes, but he 'builds a dome upon a grain of wheat.' So you say:

(a) 'I admit my mistake — but have you not magnified the affair, sir?'

(b) 'Yes — even I make mistakes sometimes.'

(c) 'I am sorry; it will not happen again.'

(d) 'Gently, sir, or you will be sorry.'

(e) You wish the earth would split open and swallow you.

6 — You argue with your boss over some matter, and he tries to end the argument by saying that he, as your boss, has no hand above his in his field of work, and that his opinion always prevails; so you say to him:

(a) 'My opinion is as good as yours.'

(b) 'I am sure of my reasons before I rush to support my proposal.'

(c) 'Within the scope of our discussion, I insist that I have an opinion just like the rest of my colleagues.'

(d) 'I think you are right,' because you felt his opinion was sounder.

(e) You pretend to him that you accept.

7 — Your employer is promoted, and you think:

(a) 'If I were head of this company, I would have striven to raise it higher.'

(b) 'It amazes me how some people advance with such long strides.'

(c) 'Luck comes to those who do not care.'

(d) 'Will fate favor me so that I step into his old position?'

(e) 'He has the qualifications for advancement, or he would not have been promoted.'

Now read on in this study, and see to which type you belong.

1 — Submissive: This person stands in a posture of servitude toward himself and his employer; forever meeting opposition, in every quarrel with his boss he yields easily, for he does not defend his position and his opinions when argued with. He fears his employer more than he respects him, and so becomes a mere follower of his, setting no value on his own personality and ability.

2 — Hostile: This person is demanding toward his employer; he looks upon their relations as a cold war, for he senses harshness from the employer's side and grows angry at every criticism he hears, and so argues to the very end. While the submissive one feels his boss can do no wrong, this one believes exactly the opposite.

3 — The withdrawn: He does not look at his feelings but leaves them sleeping; he works under inward pressure and works faithfully, avoiding any situation that would stir up a quarrel with his boss, since he cannot face such a thing. If he hears any criticism he folds in upon himself and prefers submission to argument, keeping his opinions and his feelings to himself.

4 — The one proud of his qualifications: If this person raises his employer high, he will soon push him down for the sake of another person — or rather, of himself. For he thinks much and very highly of himself; every error at work must have come from someone else, for he never errs, and his ability is never praised enough — until he believes he surpasses his boss, and that leads him to compare his qualifications with his employer's. He finds it hard to raise his boss in his judgment of him; instead he loads upon his shoulders every weakness and shortcoming.

5 — The realist: If your name falls under this heading, you are firm in your work and able to perform it with ease, and you govern your conduct with your boss in the same way. You are realistic in your dealings and do not go to extremes, and you do your best to avoid collision or conflict with your boss, because you meet the matter with realistic discussion and inquiry; and if your employer's idea prevails, you accept that as fact and as right, since the responsibility is his and he has the right to shape it as he wishes.

In cases of disagreement, the following causes may be working against you: either your relations with your boss have not yet settled, because you are both new to the situation, or one of you is in a nervous state. To understand this:

First: Observe your own reaction to every new occurrence, and keep in mind the differing working personalities we have spoken of — the hostile, the withdrawn, the self-important, the realist — and when you clash with your employer in some situation, ask yourself toward which course you incline. And remember that knowledge alone is of no use and changes no situation: you must strive to mend the situation, and dig down to reach the cause of the trouble, and set your position right.

Second: Understand what helps you to become realistic in your work, and remember that feeling must enter even into work; for the heart of realism respects the employer and compels him to return that respect.

Third: Look at yourself: if you were in your boss's place, how would you proceed? If you desire personal advancement, face your situation and take up with him everything that does not please you; you may offer him useful, positive opinions, and help him to become realistic in his thinking — and in his attitude toward you.