When Bedtime Comes

It is the problem of most parents: the child's going to bed is an ordeal for you and for him. But what is to be done? That depends on the way you have followed in accustoming him to sleep, or in failing to; here are a few suggestions that will be your best help.

Experience makes it clear that it is not wise to leave a two-month-old screaming while you pay no heed to soothing him. He may be hungry, or need changing, or be in pain — and that shows in the contracting and stretching of his body; cold very often gives him colic. To lighten the weight of his pain, lay a warm piece of cloth on his stomach, then rock him in your arms, and drowsiness will soon steal over him, and he will sleep. This does not lead to his acquiring a habit you would not wish for him; on the contrary, modern studies have established that the child who receives his share of care grows easily, without passing through psychological complications. Once he is in his fourth month, you grow more used to your baby and understand his wants; then seize the opportunity whenever you feel he is drowsy, dimming the light in his room and smoothing his bed. A soft lullaby will help you here, so do not deny him your mellow voice for a few minutes, until he drops off.

Setting the times of his sleep, his food, and his bath will help you; even greeting his father becomes one of the items of his daily program. Little by little you lead him where you wish — but beware of throwing away the value of these set times through haste.

A three-year-old may ask that the door of his room be left open, so that the light can steal in; there is no harm in that, so do not fear that the family's noise will disturb him. He may take up a toy that amuses him until he sleeps; no harm if you change the toy from time to time, so that he does not grow used to the same thing.

If his difficulty in sleeping grows worse, begin with him in the daytime, while the air is clear, and lay before him what you expect of him in the evening, without resorting to threats; remind him afterward of what he promised, then kiss him with love and tenderness. And if he starts a game or a trick, lay him down, taking no notice of it; you may promise him to come back in a little while, and he will likely be asleep before your return.

Do not be surprised if your child once takes the stand of a tester, waiting to make sure you keep your promise. And when you want to go out, make certain you leave him in the hands of a friend he loves, whether a nurse or one of your relatives; and tell him of your going out beforehand — it may cost him a few tears, but they are easier than losing his trust in you. Then beware of leaving him alone, for the danger in that is plain. Picture him waking in the dark and seeing no one around him.

Children are sometimes afraid of sleeping in the darkness, afraid of imaginary animals; this happens between the second year and the sixth, and even children whom no one has ever frightened pass through this trial. You should know here that a child believes in the reality of his thoughts and his fancies, and so his fear grows; and nothing does he need from you so much as your gentle voice, speaking to him quietly and reassuring him. Nothing increases his agitation like loneliness, so do not leave him floundering in the midst of the sea of his forebodings.

Never, on any account, accustom your child to sleeping in your bed, for by that you only multiply your troubles; if he asks you to come near him, go to him yourself. It is best that he sleep in a room of his own after his second year, so that his reliance on himself may begin early.

The difficulty over the sleep of the children of our age keeps growing, because parents are easier-going than they used to be, granting the child his every demand and ignoring the fact that he does not understand what he wants; and this applies to the child's food as well. The wise mother finds a tactful way by which to lead him to sleep, whenever she sees the need for it.