You Won't Be Alone After Today..!

A friend of mine, a writer of world renown, went through a dangerous surgical operation, during which I found him alone, in mind and in spirit. He said to me as he lay on his bed: "My illness was a kind of test for me, and it changed my personality completely, for a man does not appreciate the value of health until he loses it. All I want is to be cured; it does not matter to me if I cannot write another story, or if I lose my fortune. I prayed — for the first time since my childhood — and my soul was refreshed after the prayer. But there was one thing whose importance I had never appreciated, and that is friends. You know me for a withdrawn man, a philosopher. I struggled all my life to establish myself, and it cost me years of striving; and I suddenly felt that I had no friends but you — and it is hard for a man to live alone in this world.

"My work kept me from friendship and from the company of companions, and all this became clear to me in the moment of my pain and my solitude."

This writer is strong of personality, wise, and pleasant company; but, as he said, he was absorbed in work, and proud, as though he lived in an ivory tower from which he looked out over the world without taking part in its movement.

This is our problem, we writers. We stand aside to let the world pass by, then set down whatever our senses and our eyes light upon. With all that poured forth from his inner gifts, my friend was alone; he devoted his time to writing and forgot friendship — and this is what happens to everyone who rises in thought and in position.

Do not multiply your friends, for that brings confusion into your life; rather let them be a chosen few, in whose sincerity you trust. I know a university student, excellent in her work and her character, but her social life is deficient, and so she has begun to feel lonely in spite of her kindness, her quick wit, and her gentle manner. She tried to overcome her fear, her hesitation, and her instability, and gave many parties, gathering both sexes, and forced herself to appear at ease and sociable; but she soon discovered that

parties do not relieve loneliness — they feed it, and increase its terror once the din and clamor die away.

There are thousands crying out from loneliness, the most widespread of the social plagues. And parties truly do not cure this disease, if the expression is permissible, for the talk at them touches only superficial subjects.

What are we to do, then? Work? But in the opinion of my friend the writer, we feel lonely in spite of the work that fills our time and our thoughts for a while. Voltaire said: "Were it not for hard work, I should have killed myself."

Be certain that people will not love you unless you love them. If you want to have a friend, you must begin with yourself. Share in the thoughts of those around you, and ask them about their work and their circumstances, without meddling in their private affairs; and do not be sparing in telling your friend your worries or your hopes, so that she may rest assured of your sincerity.

Be at ease, remembering that we are all in one boat, and that our ease affects those who journey with us. Do not fear mistakes, for no creature is perfect; and know that you cannot be a friend to someone you do not respect, for respect, in friendship, is a duty.

Do not hold back from asking your friend to do you some service, for nothing gladdens her more than this trust. Let her feel that you share her joys and her sorrows. And in order to test your friend, and to tell her apart from the flatterer, expect from her some severity in her opinions, and boldness and frankness on certain occasions.

Fame, like happiness, escapes you if you set off in pursuit of it, for it is the outcome of many events and accidents, the chief of which is that radiance streaming from your own self, which charms everyone who meets you. All these things help, though they are not the effective remedy for loneliness; for companionship matters very much, and we cannot cross through life without a companion or a friend. And that companionship — between a man and his wife, a son and his parents, and between friends — lightens the hardships of life, strips loneliness of its weapon, and secures rest and stability for the soul.