Memoirs of the Duchess of Windsor (18)

In the autumn of that year an event passed by to which I paid no attention. Mr. Chamberlain had decided to come to France, and David seized this opportunity to speak to him of what was running through his mind about strengthening the bonds of connection between himself and the British government.

When David met the Prime Minister I was not present, but I learned that Mr. Chamberlain was courteous, though he did not comment on that subject with a single word.. He affirmed, however, that he would study the matter with the King and the ministers..

And David waited in hope. The weeks passed without an answer; then David communicated with the government, and was told that the question of his coming to Britain was a matter for him and the King alone.

Every day I discovered a new touch of forbearance in David's soul. He suspects no one, however far the injury may go. Then I would go over these empty days and compare them with his early days, so full of responsibility... for the letters never stopped, from here and from there..

And I thought it was my duty alone to fill this emptiness, and this required me to be Canada one day, and New Zealand and the Fiji Islands the next!..

At last, at the beginning of 1939, we found in Paris the house we had wished for.. But as the summer wore on, news of the war and the possibility of its outbreak began to reach our ears, and David took to spending hours telephoning Britain, or listening to the wireless.. Not long after, Germany launched its lightning attack on Poland.. and David commented on the news, saying: it is a return to the year 1914.

We stayed on, waiting for news of the Empire..

One day, when we had joined friends at the seaside, the servant came to tell us that the British ambassador in Paris wished to speak to David... When he returned he brought news to the effect that Britain had declared war on Germany.

From that moment David began to think of one thing: how could he serve his country? Soon we received an invitation to return to Britain. Before David lay one of two posts: either to

be Britain's military envoy with the Allies.. or the regional commissioner in "Wales." And although the return took place in those grave circumstances, the family kept up this rift..

Everyone was courteous.. but it was easy for me to scent, behind this courtesy, curiosity, and the constant question: "Can this be that Mrs. Simpson, who took our king and caused all these things?.."

David preferred to remain in Wales, because the arts of war had changed since he had last served in the army..

I was, in this period, a person unknown, in every gathering and in every conversation; and David put on a thick mask to hide his anger at it, and to pursue his mission in the service of his country..

But circumstances did not favor him: he was left no choice in the post, and a royal decision was issued that he should be the British military envoy. And from the King he heard nothing more than that..

David did not object, but accepted the responsibility with an open heart. We remained in London a short while, until he should take up his duties; and when we returned we decided not to stay in the new dwelling. Instead I lived at the hotel, but life here too was dull. So I went back to our house, to find it much changed; but I had no work to divert me, so I joined the Red Cross and went about among the hospitals. Weeks would pass without my seeing David, though I heard his voice from time to time.

Winter passed, both of us working in constant motion; and the two of us were facing two wars: the great war, and the cold war between us and the royal palace.

April was one of the loveliest of months, and May followed it with flowers and refreshing sunshine; but Hitler allowed no one to enjoy the sweetness of spring, for he attacked France with ferocity and cruelty.

One day David came in hurriedly and said, panting: the Germans are advancing on Paris, and you have two hours to leave..

I answered him that I was bound to the French Red Cross, and that it was not right to leave at a time when they needed every help. But he did not listen, and kept pressing me to go.

The roads in the outskirts of Paris were packed with carts and motorcars; all Western Europe was on the move.. The small hotel we made for was crowded, but its owner recognized me at once and made a room ready for us, in which we passed our night; and we decided to move the next day to a place near the Spanish frontier.. David left me and returned to Paris, but before long he received word to move to the Italian frontier.

In the days that followed we never left the radio, and at last came the news that Italy had declared war; there was no longer any safety within the French borders; and under the insistence of friends we had no choice but to change our quarters. Some friends accompanied us, and we set out for Spain. The road was hard, and we were forced to halt more than once; and on the next day we reached "Perpignan" across the Pyrenees mountains...

There remained the entry within the Spanish borders; and in that we met with difficulty beyond reckoning, for the government feared that the number of refugees would grow until they became a burden upon the country...

But David did not cease striving for a moment, and at last we managed to enter.

We passed two days in Barcelona in complete quiet, before continuing our journey to Madrid...

We were, in truth, homeless wanderers, our belongings scattered in every direction, our life one of moving about and instability. And if this did not weigh very heavily on me, it was not at all easy for David. He had lost everything, even position; but Winston Churchill's assumption of the premiership cast a ray of hope upon our life.. He was David's friend, and perhaps he would work to secure some distinguished post that would occupy his hours of leisure.. and raise his spirits..

Our intuition proved true, in fact; for on our arrival in Madrid the British ambassador there met us to tell us that Mr. Churchill had sent asking David to return to Britain by way of Portugal...

We moved to "Lisbon" to await

new instructions from Mr. Churchill.. Our ambassador had prepared a beautiful dwelling for us, ready furnished... Although the Prime Minister had not been able to persuade the palace with regard to David, he pressed him to return to his country; and despite the longing he suffered for his homeland, and the respect he bore his friend Churchill, David stayed where he was, until it should be made certain to him whither he was going. I noticed in him perplexity and anxiety, which he expressed afterward in an hour of anger; and I understood that he was postponing his departure for my sake, wanting them to accept us together, as man and wife, with no barriers of class to divide them.

This stubbornness was part of his nature, and it is a reason that always drives me to believe that he prefers me by far! For he is of the kindest stuff.. But I grew anxious on his account, and in this grave period above all.. and I tried to set the matter before him from another angle, that he might see that my standing as his wife could be deferred, its discussion left to another occasion; but he turned a deaf ear to me, and gave me to understand that all his concern turned upon my being received at the palace, so that his brother and his brother's wife should receive me;

and I do not deny that I wished for this — not for the sake of social position, but to remove the barrier that had risen between David and his family after our marriage, and to wipe from my mind the thought that I was the woman who had caused all this... And yet, for all that, I felt the time was not fitting, with Britain in the mouth of the flames..

Two hard days passed over us; David exchanged telephone messages with Churchill, and we stayed night and day awaiting the answers...

And the final answer was the palace's refusal of David's conditions; whereupon he decided that he would not visit Britain, but that he was ready to serve the Empire in any place the King or the Prime Minister should appoint.

(This series concludes in the next issue)