Story of the Month — My Sister Jill

My sister was bandaging my hand, which I had cut while opening a tin of peas, when Yola Standrish came in... She came in through the kitchen door, as was her habit, then passed among the rooms, poking her head into each one.

Yola was my sister Jill's companion... but they had not met of late, for Yola had been away for some weeks... and she had, of course, plenty of news.

She ignored me... looked at my soft, dark sister and said without preamble:

So you are going to marry Julian Tremlett?...

My sister, who was bandaging my hand, smiled at her and said nothing.

Yola sat down on the edge of the piano, saying:

My God... you are twenty-two and the days are running... But this Julian... I caught a glimpse of him once when they came to the village... his father is an elderly man, self-made, as they say... anyhow, they have turned the place they bought into something like a splendid palace... I say, my dear, you have done well for yourself.

My sister addressed her words to me: How did you do this to your hand?...

As though seeing me for the first time, Yola said: Oh, you have grown, Laura... you are eighteen.

I said: Nearly nineteen, rather.

She ignored me again and went on: But how did it happen?... You were always like one hiding from company... then a stranger comes along to be the owner of a palace next door to you... and you catch him.

My sister laughed... I know exactly what that laugh means... a sound she makes when she is trying to hide her feeling... Then she said quietly:

It was not as you say, Yola... The family came to our neighborhood months ago, but we never mixed with them at all... At last the father came to call on my father; as for his son Julian, he stayed on in London, managing his father's business.

My sister patted my hand and let it go, then said:

And do you know how we met the first time?...

Yola said: At his parents' house, bandaging the wound of one of the family, as you did just now.

— Quite the contrary, and worse than that... I was cleaning the chicken coop at our house...

he had come from his father to invite us to lunch at their place.

— So... love at first sight.

— No... nothing of the kind, but I found him close to my inclinations.

— You mean you don't love him... a marriage of convenience, then...

And my gentle sister flushed red... even her big black eyes glowed as she said quietly... You have not understood what I meant. We took to each other from the start... But Yola, how can you say what you said, when you know me so well?

I boiled with anger... and meant to tell Yola what I thought of her, but my sister asked me to make the tea, so I went out.

* * *

My mother had been ill for ten years, since the birth of my youngest sister... and so Jill was the manager of the house... She went through weary times when we four children were small... Now that I had grown, I had become her helper.

We lived in a house built in the days of Queen Victoria, when houses were cheap and families numbered dozens. My father was the village parson... poor and respected.

I came back with the tea, and Yola was still talking. She said: And where is the ring?

My sister answered: Julian brought one, but its size did not fit my finger...

— Diamond, I suppose...?

— Sapphire, rather... he asked me, and I preferred sapphire.

— And you told him so...? I never thought you would.

My gentle sister did not answer... and Yola said:

— And what will they do here without you...?

I said: Our aunt will come to live with us... and then my mother will go to the north of France after the wedding... and she will come back to us stronger in body...

Yola looked at me and said: Will the bridegroom's family send her...?

And my sister answered in her usual calm:

— Julian wanted to give me something precious... pearls or the like, so I chose my mother's journey instead.

Yola began to laugh, the laugh of one who has no heart, then said: Jill, you astonish me... a journey for your mother instead of pearls...? And you told him so...?

My sister said with the same softness and good spirit... That is not exactly what happened... Julian knew I was troubled over my mother, and he said: you will take nothing for yourself, so what am I to do...?

Yola said mockingly: One would think he were marrying the whole family.

And I hated Yola... I felt she was jealous of Jill, and I found myself saying... How dare you say such a thing! Julian is lucky to have got Jill, and he knows it. His father said they need a personality like hers at the palace.

Yola said: As housekeeper, of course.

I was on the point of answering when my sister broke in and said with the same angelic calm:

They have a housekeeper, Yola... Then she went on with the same softness... You are mistaken, Yola. I am marrying Julian — he rich, and we poor all our lives — not because he is rich... Even were he poor, I would do the same thing... And at that moment my mother came in.

* * *

My mother was tall and very thin, but a person it pleases you to see and to know... Her eyes and her features were like Jill's features and eyes, though I hoped Jill would not come to be as thin as she.

My mother smiled at Yola... that smile which draws the driest of hearts, and said: How lovely to see you; I hope you have spent a pleasant holiday... your mother visited me a few days ago.

Yola was all gentleness as she said: I came to congratulate Jill... she is lucky.

My mother raised her dignified eyes and said deliberately: Lucky...? You mean her fiancé is wealthy. Yes, she will not suffer want — though one gets a great deal out of suffering want.

And we — my mother's family — understood what she meant... To rise above yourself in sacrifice, leaving to the others in the family what you yourself need most... Yola's family does not understand this.

The conversation went on. Yola said, as though she had not grasped what my mother meant... She said: I heard they gathered their fortune in the war.

My mother smiled again and said: George Tremlett made himself, and he is proud of it... he owns factories for radios and television sets... but he grew tired of the work and handed it over to his son... They are people of generous character, and my husband admires them.

I was pleased with my mother's answer, for everything she said was true, and our admiration for the Tremlett family sprang from its character, not its wealth... Indeed, had Julian been poor, the whole family would have consented to his marrying Jill.

Yola stayed on, seated... she wanted to see Julian... and at last he came, carrying a bouquet of the costliest flowers... She stared at his handsome face... at his dreamy green eyes, then looked at Jill; and I saw that Jill had risen, taken one step, then stood nailed to her place.

Yola said goodbye, and I did not see her to the outer door... I felt she was a base creature who had poisoned my sweet sister's heart.

Julian did not stay long... I was in the kitchen when he left... and suddenly I saw Jill at the door, lost in thought, and heard her say: Laur, tell me — do people say of me what Yola said: that I am lucky, and that I am marrying Julian for his fortune...?

I said cautiously: Yola is jealous of you; pay no heed to what she said.

She murmured: I would have loved him in any case... but imagine... imagine if he should think what Yola thinks.

I said: It would never enter his head.

My sister was nearly weeping, for the base thought had touched the depths of her angelic heart... She — love Julian for his wealth...? She, the dreaming idealist...? And then, that there should enter his head what had entered Yola's...?

I could see the storm coming... From now on Jill would refuse his gifts, and would live in anxiety over his feeling toward her... I know Jill, and I know how intensely sensitive she is... Did I not say that Yola had poisoned her life?

The days flew by, and the people around us talked... and it seemed as though their thoughts bore out Yola's... Jill changed... she was always pensive and wretched, and I hoped Julian would not notice this change in her; but I was wrong, for he was no less sensitive than she, though her change bewildered him.

I met him once on my way home; he was so sunk in his thoughts he scarcely saw me... I said gaily: Hello, Julian... He hurried over to me... He said anxiously: Tell me, Laur — did Jill like the ring after I exchanged it?... She seemed strange to me the moment I gave it to her.

I said: She liked it, of course, but why all this extravagance?... I told you she loves sapphire, but that does not mean you must buy a stone as big as a millstone... she hates extravagance.

He said: That is why she stopped me from buying her the costly fur coat... but I shall buy it after the wedding.

Then he walked along at my side and began to speak like a man talking to himself. He said... We were not always rich... indeed, my father grieves that my mother never saw this fortune... She died when I was ten, and he lived in a house in a row of little houses while I was away at school... and we had to economize, as... as...

I said: As we do today.

He smiled, as though suddenly aware of my presence, and said... I suppose so... Even when we became wealthy, we moved to a modest flat close to the works... You see, giving something to a person I love makes me glad — it is as though I were giving to myself... And when I told Jill about your mother's journey to France, I was glad inside... I love to give, and when people take my giving amiss, I am pained.

I said: And have you told Jill this...?

He said, shaking his head: Jill has changed of late, though I was sure of—

— Sure of her love for you... Yes, Julian, she loves you; she told me that nothing makes her happier than having you at her side.

His face lit up and he said quickly... Did she really tell you that? Then I shall come tonight... Our agent has brought some winter grapes, and your mother will like them, I think.

I said: Come, and don't bring the grapes... Then I left him.

He came, and we sat, Jill and I, with him around the fire... I saw Julian looking at her searchingly, as though he wished to enter her very depths; she stayed silent, and he left early.

That week my little sister Jessie came home from school to spend the spring holiday with us... and it seemed that, small as she was, she would take her part in poisoning Jill's heart. She said while we were at table... Jill, a girl at school told me your fiancé is very rich... he has... television factories... Then she turned to my father and said: Papa, shall we have a television set?

My father answered, his thoughts wandering far away... I hope so.

Jill said sharply: Jessie, don't talk with your mouth full of food... Then she rose and went off to the kitchen.

I hurried after her and found her weeping bitterly, saying: Laur, I cannot bear it any longer... Julian has become a stranger to me... that is how I felt yesterday... he no longer loves me... If only I could prove my love to him... if only—

Gloomy days passed... Jill growing ever thinner and more silent, Julian coming only rarely and for minutes at a time. It seemed that everything between them would come to the worst of ends... Then one Sunday, when everyone in the house lay resting quietly, I took my coat and went out... I walked until I had left Julian's house behind me, and passed the Givens family's farm... The farm kept a number of fighting bulls, and there, before one of their fields, I saw a sight that froze the blood in my veins. In the field was one of the bulls, raging, leaning against the trunk of a tree and rubbing against it... and high in the tree, close to the point of danger, clung my brother Fred... I screamed, and he screamed in turn: Save me... fetch someone to save me!

I ran toward our house, but before I reached it I found myself before the Tremletts' garden, and Julian and his father were there; and in an instant Julian was running ahead of me... We arrived

to find the danger to Fred had grown, for the raging bull had broken off a large branch, and Fred had climbed onto another...

Julian said: I shall try to draw the bull's attention away from Fred... And he entered the field... and moved slowly, head high, toward the bull... I saw him like a martyr walking to his death, and my heart wept, and I cried: Julian... Julian, come back!... But he did not come back; on the contrary, I saw the bull turn toward him, tensed and menacing... and I saw my brother slip down from the tree and steal out of the field.

And I ran — not into the field, but away. I ran for help until my breath gave out, and I found myself before our house, crying: Julian... Julian!

My sister rushed out, terror tying her tongue. A sudden idea came to me, and I said: All the Tremlett factories have burned down. Word has come from London that they are bankrupt... and I saw Julian meaning to kill himself, and I do not know what he has done now.

I was speaking the last sentence to the air, for Jill was no longer before me... She was running and running... without coat... without hat... without a word... and I was running behind her, and some people were running around us...

We reached the field... A few men were there, and the bull, still raging, was in its halter with one of them; and there was Julian, his father before him, saying... Don't be afraid, Father, all is well.

He saw us — saw Jill — and hurried to us... She did not speak... Everyone around her was as nothing... and my sister Jill... the shy girl, was in her beloved's arms...

And I heard her whisper in broken words... Julian — kill yourself over money...? We shall live together, poor, poor, but happy, and thank God for it. And he did not understand... He was holding her close while everyone turned their faces away, and most of them went off. He was looking at me questioningly, and I shouted, laughing aloud: Didn't the factories burn down? Weren't you going to kill yourself? And he laughed aloud for the first time in months... And Jill cried out — freed now from his arms, having understood everything:

Laur, you wicked thing!

(From the English)